AND NEXT... IT’S THE PENALTY SHOOT-OUT

WEAK ATTACK: However experienced he is, however many billionaire oligarchs and members of royalty he’s acted for, on this occasion Hugh Tomlinson QC’s attack felt lacklustre.

POSSESSION: Team Rooney always appeared in control. Dominating possession throughout. Not even allowing any Bo(to)x to Bo(to)x.

TRANSFER RECORD: Some might say the entire case represented a pointless, outrageous, unedifying multimillion-pound transfer between some highly skilled but overpaid footballers to some highly skilled but overpaid lawyers. The current estimate for the hearing is about £3million (€3.5m), which in the context of war, recession and energy crises, seems a teeny bit shameful.

GOLDEN MOMENTS: We all have our favourites. Mine include the sweary hooha over the seating plan for the 2016 Euros, Davy Jones’s locker, Peter’s pecker, Vardy’s yellow suit, that pigeon quote and Coleen’s extremely patient explanation of the ins and outs of Instagram stories to a 68-year-old barrister.