Raise a glass of cider to Paschal
WITH All-Ireland finals in July and a Budget in September, it seems that we’re in a tearing hurry to get through this year. And sure enough, Christmas appeared to have come early in Leinster House yesterday, with Paschal Donohoe and Michael McGrath dispensing so many shiny presents that they may as well have been working in a grotto.
Dubbed a ‘chicken nugget Budget’ – all tasty morsels but nothing substantial to get your teeth into – by a commentator on the Brendan O’Connor show at the weekend, Budget 2023 seemed at times more like a happy meal, especially when Paschal promised a reduction on the price of cider and the cost of bar extensions.
Clearly, the excitement over cheap flagons after midnight didn’t end in the front row. As the Finance Minister moved on to penalise concrete blocks, behind him, junior minister James Browne was almost frenziedly texting.
At one point, we wondered if he was corresponding with Jack Chambers, sitting beside him, as he checked his own phone to see how things were going. But when Browne suddenly produced a second phone, it seemed more likely he’d been texting the glad tidings to himself.
With so many mobile phones on parade, the thick Budget folders in front of every deputy looked oddly archaic. At one point, it appeared that Eamon Ryan was counting the number of pages in his multi-coloured package, and in the heat of an environmental crisis, we couldn’t help but wonder if the Budget might have been more efficiently delivered to the house if it was communicated electronically. Certainly, it might allow deputies to keep themselves entertained when Michael McGrath delivers his gifting with the same level of excitement as if he were reading out eircodes.
But the climate crisis barely merited a mention in this cost-ofliving Budget. Instead, the two ministers focused on cushioning for the austere winter ahead. So we had more welfare and less tax, extra benefits and slashed VAT. When Minister Donohoe announced that VAT would be abolished on period products, he received the first half-hearted round of applause of the afternoon. Our colleagues in the press gallery added a few cheers when newspapers followed suit, with the biggest applause of the day – as well as a decidedly odd disembodied ‘well done Michael’ – following the announcement that primary school books will now be free.
To be fair, that was three more cheers than the Budget usually gets, and by the time Pearse Doherty desperately tried to muster some apoplexy, there was a sense that there was a lot to love a little in this Budget. Certainly, RTÉ was having no truck with the detractors, cutting off Pearse in his prime and sending this viewer diving for the remote control.
Over on the RTÉ News channel, the Sinn Féin finance spokesman was talking about curtains blowing in houses in Donegal, but competing against tickertape headlines about Shakira facing court charges in Spain – apparently, her hips (and allegedly her accounts) did lie – and the announcement of the Eurovision Song Contest venue shortlist meant he was fighting a losing battle. Later, the usually articulate Mairéad Farrell mangled a metaphor about the Government borrowing Sinn Féin’s clothes – but on an afternoon when that party’s members looked particularly crumpled, it was a relief that it was only a joke. But underneath the shiny paper, this was yet another Dog Ate My Homework Budget. Two years ago, everything was Brexit’s fault. Last year, it was Covid. Yesterday, the Finance Minister added the Ukraine war to the blame game – and once again, there was no acknowledgement that many of the issues people are currently struggling with were caused by Government policy.
In a Budget scattered with small measures and some admittedly big gestures, the lack of tangible efforts to tackle sky-high rents and voracious investment funds was remarkable.
Even as we tried to remember we are still in September, it was a cold day across the country yesterday, with even Micheál Martin blowing into his hands as he arrived in the Dáil chamber. I’m sure I wasn’t the only viewer with the central heating boiler off and three layers of clothing on.
For all the energy credits and the loosening tax bands thrown around Leinster House yesterday, we are facing into a harsh winter. There is no guarantee that we’ll be able to keep the lights on. But
hell, pass the cider.
‘Three more cheers than the Budget usually gets’