From Jama to jam... it’s a week for strong women
WHAT a terrible mistake casting the sensationally sexy Maya Jama as the new host of Love Island.
No one does a slow-motion walk like her – the flouncing locks, the bouncing buttocks and trembling bosom, her black-slashed dress making her look like she’s been ravaged by Edward Scissorhands.
It’s so unfair. Maya, pictured far right, makes the show’s female contestants look like dormice. SHAKIRA says she discovered Gerard Piqué was cheating after the strawberry jam disappeared while she was on tour – he hates it. If true, shame on his girlfriend Clara Chia Marti for moving into the matrimonial home while Shakira was away.
And good for super-sleuth
Shakira, who is clearly not as jamsweet as she looks. GARY LINEKER was giggling like a schoolgirl after a prankster played a recording of a woman moaning as he was presenting Match Of The Day. He appeared bewildered about what he was hearing. It was the sound of a woman faking an orgasm, Gary, surely you of all people must be used to that by now. INSIDERS gush over Marisa Abela’s likeness to Amy Winehouse, left, whom she’s playing in a biopic. Really? It takes more than a beehive, matching tattoos and dramatic eyeliner even to begin to capture the tragic beauty and raw wildness of Amy. Let’s just hope Marisa doesn’t sing – or the audience will die a hundred times. HAVING already legalised cannabis, Canadian PM Justin Trudeau will now legalise heroin and crack cocaine, while lecturing citizens to have only two drinks a week as ‘no amount of alcohol is safe’. Nor, perhaps, are two syringes of heroin. AFTER Romeo Beckham’s star performance playing for Brentford’s B team, observers said he was a ‘perfect hybrid’ of the talents of his famous parents David and Victoria – a football player, a model for Burberry and also ‘an impressive singing voice’.
So there’s one talent he clearly didn’t inherit from mum. SO hoarse he could hardly speak after coming back from a five-and-a-half-hour marathon match in the Australian Open, Andy Murray said: ‘My love of the game and respect for it keeps me going.’ That and his ‘big heart’.
When the interviewer said he had a ‘big everything’, Murray quipped: ‘I’m not sure my wife would agree with that!’
Dour Andy winning us round by cracking risqué jokes – what a comeback!