Every day, I lose a piece of my husband to dementia
THE actor Timothy West, whose wife Prunella Scales has dementia, has movingly described the devastation the condition causes. But Prunella’s dementia took many years to develop, which is not the case for everyone.
I have experienced the havoc dementia wreaks.
My husband, in the short time from when we first suspected something was amiss to being diagnosed less than two years later, is already at Stage 6 (severe cognitive decline) of the seven recognised stages.
He is unable to dress, wash or care for himself. He has no concept of time, whether it be night or day. We have no conversation, as he cannot retain information no matter how it is presented; only a repetition of whatever he is fixated on at the time.
There are days when he has no idea who I am and we end up having a conversation about where I live and how come he has never seen me before. There is little point in showing him photographs as he doesn’t recognise himself, never mind me.
Mr West is fortunate that he has had about 20 years to come to terms with his wife’s condition. Some of us have simply had our lives turned upside down and cannot always count on the support of family and friends.
My husband has been abandoned by his friends, who cannot deal with a man who is a shadow of his former self and totally reliant on me.
We live day by day. My only respite is the occasional couple of hours when his daughters have him. I have tried a befriending service but unfortunately with little success. This, I believe, is due to my husband’s type of dementia, which he has no idea he is suffering from. He was formerly a highly intelligent man who always looked after himself, ran marathons for charity and would be the life and soul of any gathering.
I mourn for that man and my old life. As each day passes, a little bit more of my kind and loving husband is taken away. I dread the day when I will have to let him go, as I will no longer be able to give him the care he needs.
As they say, life can be cruel. And then there is dementia.
NAME AND ADDRESS SUPPLIED.
Potter squabble
GRAHAM Linehan is spot on when he says Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint should be remembered as ‘arrogant, ungrateful cowards’ after they turned on J.K.Rowling. The child actors from the Harry Potter movies owe their fame and fortune entirely to the talent of Rowling.
CERI REES, by email. ... I WISH the three of them, Radcliffe, Watson and Grint, would disappear as one-hit-wonders as revenge for their ungratefulness. Since I hear very little of them now, I hope that is the case.
MARIAN PARSLOW, by email.
... THEY are actors, they don’t have to support the author of the book their films are based upon. It’s a ridiculous stance for Linehan to take. ROBBIE STONE, by email. ... I TOTALLY agree with Graham Linehan. It’s time the silent majority woke up and realised the damage being done to our society in the name of inclusion.
S. SHAW, by email. ... ONE entry on socials can cause serious outcomes, outrage and danger, as it has for Rowling and
Linehan. This hysteria is over the top. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, although we have long passed the time when we could agree to disagree and move on.
C. MARSHALL, by email.
Shall we dance?
SURELY there should be no objection that while the All Blacks do the Haka, the Irish boys should be allowed do Riverdance with Zombie as the backing track?