Can I tell twins we must get rid of pet rabbits?

A provocative, positive thought or even the smallest kindness can gather the lost to the fold. Surprisingly, one’s own pain about meaning or belonging is lightened by helping someone else with theirs From The Wonder Paradox: Awe, Poetry And The Meaningful Life by Jennifer Michael Hecht (US writer and philosopher)

DEAR BEL,

WE HAVE much-loved eight-year-old twin daughters and a year ago my husband and I thought it a good idea to buy them rabbits. I hold my hands up — we should have carried out more research, but we didn’t realise how much mess they’d make.

Last winter, we put their hutch in the garage and they’ve been there ever since! We’ve recently spent a lot of money revamping our garden and don’t want to move the rabbits back into the garden as they will ruin it with sawdust and poop!

We also holiday a lot and finding bunny sitters is a nightmare and costly. Although our girls love their pets and are very gentle with them, they only spend around an hour a day with them, when the rabbits are in a pen outside.

The bunnies are well cared for, but my husband and I agree we made a mistake and they need to go! Here’s the issue... I am dreading telling the kids. They’ll be heartbroken.

Can you please advise me on the best way to tell them? It sounds daft but I don’t want them to be upset, nor blame me and my husband. I dread it changing our mother/daughter relationship! I’m sure you’re rolling your eyes, but I don’t want this to still be a ‘thing’ in years to come

JOYCE

UNSUALLY, I gave your email to my husband to read, asking him to guess how I’d reply. He smiled and said, ‘I think you’ll tell her not to fuss — just get rid of the rabbits.’

He is a kind and practical person and an animal-lover, too, but I was shocked. Because what I feel is just the opposite.

But now at least you have one person seeing what you mean — and I’m sure some or even many readers will, too.

It’s honest of you to admit neither you nor your husband thought very hard about what keeping rabbits involves. I admire honesty but want to use this as a dire warning to others who think bringing a living creature into the family is as easy as buying cornflakes in the weekly shop.

Last year, animal charities reported the number of pet rabbits being given up rise by a third.

Rabbits are also among the most neglected of pets and, sadly, the number of kind souls willing to adopt bunnies from animal shelters has gone down.

It’s not fair on the rabbits, nor is it fair on charities who are currently overwhelmed, because so many people are claiming they can no longer afford to care for animal companions. (Please people, before you get a pet, THINK!)

You love your twins and they love the rabbits. So, to me, it’s a no-brainer that double portion of love is more important by far than a neat garden. However, I would say that — since I allow our three grubby little dogs on furniture and beds.

In all honesty, I couldn’t give a damn about mess. So no surprise here that I’m contesting your assertion that the poor rabbits ‘need to go’.

You are asking me how to tell beloved ‘heartbroken’ children why their pets are being taken away from them but, I’m sorry, I can’t.

Teaching a child how to care for an animal is one of the greatest gifts you can give, and putting up with slight inconvenience as a result is also a jewel in the parenting crown.

I hope your daughters make sure their pets have the right amount of fresh straw, water and food every day, and get extra straw in winter.

They should now being making sure the rabbits are OK before they go to school, and know all about their pets’ needs (see ispca/pet—care—advice).

Every stroke of those bunnies expands their understanding.

Isn’t it unrealistic to suppose they won’t ‘blame’ you?

I could never tell children they have to wave goodbye to Flopsy and Mopsy because of (a) mess and (b) the cost of pet sitters.

Wouldn’t that indicate that you put precious affection and vital tender care (yours for them and theirs for the animals) last in the list of priorities?

I’m sorry if this reply disappoints and annoys you, but I can only be honest — as you have been.