I’m a house blocker – but where else can I live?

THIS weekend, thousands of homes around the country will ring to the sound of children’s laughter and delight as they go on Easter egg hunts in the garden before larruping into sweets and chocolates.

Restraint will not be the order of the day, because this is the end of the long Lenten fast, notwithstanding Ireland’s quirky and unofficial amnesty for St Patrick’s Day, and indulgence of gluttony often is granted until the children turn a little bit green.

Once the morning gorging has finished, the children will sit with the adults at the table, where there will be platters of sliced leg of lamb glistening with gravy, vegetables, three types of potato, mint sauce, wine for the grown-ups, and endless bottles of minerals for the children who, in time-honoured tradition, will then take on round two of the Easter egg marathon.

On Monday afternoon, though, many of those houses will fall silent. Long doorstep goodbyes will be had, hugs will be exchanged, and two people standing sadly on the porch will stay fixed on the spot for as long as they can see little hands waving from the back window of a departing car.

Selfish

They are grandparents and, in the eyes of many, they are among the most selfish people in Ireland. Yesterday, the Economic and Social Research Institute (ESRI) released research showing that over twothirds of us live in houses that are too big for our needs. According to the EU statistical agency Eurostat, a household is underoccupied if it has more than the minimum number of rooms considered adequate.

In Ireland, we are more likely to live in houses than in apartments, no matter how much that has balance changed in the last three decades, so our dwellings have on average 2.1 rooms per occupant, compared with the EU average of 1.6 rooms. And while all age groups feed into those numbers, one stark statistic emerged. Some 88% of people aged 65 or over live in underoccupied housing, whether because they never had children at all, or as a consequence of bereavement or divorce, or because the adult family has flown the coop.

I’m a culprit here. I’m 60, so not quite in the upper age group yet, and I didn’t have children, but I do live in a four-bedroom house, all by myself. Is it too big for me? Yes, I’m sure it is. Obviously, I need only one bedroom on a daily basis. Another is my office because, come this August, I will have worked from home for 18 years. Another is a junk room I endlessly promise to clear out. (The pragmatic Swedes start what they call döstädning, or ‘death clean’, at 48, so that when they do pop their clogs, or whatever footwear is indigenous there, they don’t leave a mess for the family to sort out.)

The fourth is the guest room, and it is in regular use. I’m a Dubliner now living in Co. Wexford, and my siblings are split between there and England, so they come to stay often. Indeed, my younger sister will be here this weekend. In previous years, before my nieces and nephews partnered up and started their own families, I often shoehorned eight or nine overnight guests in, before I got rid of the bunk beds in an act of acceptance that they really were no longer necessary, and bought a sofabed for the living room for overflow traffic. Even the junk room can be pressed into service when required, just as soon as I find the bed beneath the detritus.

In the eyes of many, I’m a house blocker, living alone in a property that would be quite suitable for a family of six, or even eight, in shared bedrooms. The problem we have in Ireland is: where would I go if I actually did sell?

Downsize

I have lived in an apartment before, and it suited me to a point, but the main living space was kitchen, living and dining combined, and that’s a pretty confined universe for someone who has lived all his life in houses. I might be persuaded to buy a two-bedroom townhouse, but they usually are poorly designed, because the footprint of the bedrooms defines the available space below, usually a claustrophobic hall, small front room, and kitchen-dining at the back.

I am appalled by, the housing crisis, and there have to be creative solutions. One of them, surely, is building accommodation suitable for older people to downsize without it feeling like captivity, while also providing a little space for family to stay over. The economic imbalance of Ireland, with Dublin the black hole sucking everything else in, means that many adult children now live far from their home places and need to stay over when, as is the case this weekend, they’re visiting Mam and Dad.

Staying or leaving is a decision I will have to make at some point. I have had this house almost 20 years now, and maintenance often seems endless, and heating ever more expensive. A decade hence, I might be glad of somewhere much smaller.

That is not a luxury afforded to grandparents, especially those in rural areas with children in Dublin or Cork, Dagenham or Canberra, Dallas or Christchurch. They still need those bedrooms for the one thing we all crave and cherish – connection. They may live in empty nests, but that means they have room for a lot of eggs. Especially Easter ones.