Judge rules in Confirmation celebration meal row: Mains with mum, dessert with dad

Estranged parents bring dining dispute to Circuit Court

A JUDGE has ruled in a Confirmation celebration row between estranged parents that their children have their main course with their mother and then have their dessert with their father in a different room at a hotel.

At Ennis Circuit Court, Judge Francis Comerford said that he was making the orders concerning the Confirmation as the parents could not agree on dinner arrangements at the hotel with their children and their guests.

The parents are separated and have shared custody of their children. Judge Comerford said making orders in the case ‘is not ideal in any way’. He said: ‘It is not ideal that people are coming to court when they can’t agree on matters like this.’

Solicitor Mairéad Doyle, for the father, had proposed that the parents, the children and family guests all eat together at the hotel. Judge Comerford said: ‘I am not going to direct that people stay at the same table if they can’t stay at the same table – it is really unfortunate.’

Instead, the judge said the couple’s children will have their main course with their mother and her family guests in a room at the hotel. He directed that the children then go to another room to have their dessert with their father and his family guests.

Ms Doyle asked that the children’s dessert time with their father be one hour and Judge Comerford directed that this be the case.

The judge said he could see the sense of the children having a meal with their parents for the Confirmation celebration ‘and it would be a good thing if it happened’. He said the father will have control of the children for one-and-a-half hours after the Mass during which time photos would be taken.

Urging both sides to reach a compromise, the judge said: ‘Whatever arrangements have to be put in place should be put in place by the parents in the best interests of their children.’

Solicitor Ms Doyle was bringing the matter before the court as the two sides in correspondence could not agree on dinner arrangements for the Confirmation

Day outside court during March and April. The father has an application for sole custody of the children currently before Limerick Circuit Court.

Ms Doyle said: ‘We are proposing a joint dinner because we are trying to promote a united front with the children. Proposing a joint dinner would be the best approach to show that the two sides can set aside their differences for the day.’

She added the Confirmation Day is a day the children will remember for the rest of their lives. She told the court she had sent proposals for the Confirmation Day on April 10 to solicitors for the mother in the case and received a three-page reply.

The father contacted the hotel and added six people to the mother’s dinner reservation.

But, she said, when her client went back to the hotel ‘it transpires that those six people had been taken off that table by some third party’. Ms Doyle said the children’s mother says she didn’t cancel the six people ‘but someone cancelled it’.

Solicitor Seán O’Hanrahan, for the mother, said his client was agreeable to the father spending two hours with them for photos after the Confirmation.

Mr O’Hanrahan said his client has no difficulty with her ex-husband inviting guests and paying for their meal.

He said: ‘But we cannot make the dinner arrangement for him – that is something for the hotel. That is what is being asked of us and asked of you, Judge, to fix his dinner arrangements.’

Mr O’Hanrahan said he visited the hotel and found the two dining areas ‘are less than 70 yards apart’. His client booked dinner in the room designated for Confirmations. He asked for costs and the judge replied ‘not a chance’.

‘This is not ideal in any way’