Student daughter works as hooker to pay her bills

Dear Coleen

I’ve found out that my daughter is working as a prostitute. She’s a university student and says it helps her get by.

I found out by accident after a friend saw her at a hotel with a much older man.

When I asked her about it she eventually admitted he was a client and that for over a year she’s been going for meals and to functions and theatre dates with men. They pay for the whole evening and then she sleeps with them for money.

I’m appalled and disgusted with her. This is not how I brought her up.

She brushed all this off when I confronted her and insisted she’s perfectly safe and that she doesn’t have time with her degree to get a job in a shop or pub.

This way she can make hundreds of pounds, she says, doing things she enjoys – like eating and having sex.

She also said that I “don’t live in the real world” if I think her loan is enough to live on. How can I get through to her? Every gift she buys for birthdays or for her baby nieces and nephews I see as dirty money now.

I’m so ashamed I could cry.

Coleen says

I understand why you’re devastated and shocked, but don’t be ashamed – this isn’t the result of anything you’ve done or haven’t done. This is your daughter’s choice. She’s young and living in the moment, and not thinking about the potential emotional fallout in years to come.

I’d sit down with her as a friend and another woman and make her think about that.

What about when she meets the love of her life? And if she has her own daughter one day – would she be OK with her sleeping with strangers for money?

Her arguments don’t stack up – plenty of other students are in exactly the same situation and they don’t resort to prostitution. They work in fast-food restaurants and in bars.

Your daughter wants a quick fix and she likes the money, but if she thinks she’s safe, she’s not – it just takes one bad customer.

Tell her you’re saying these things out of love and that you’ll sit down and work through her finances with her, but you want her to stop before she gets so involved that she can’t get out.

She says she’s safe and I ‘don’t live in real world’