Irish Daily Mirror

M’s life in perary d been remely d ...she uld drink to mb the pain

- Rachael.bletchly@mirror.co.uk

er depressed stepfather, Patrick, 38, ged himself, and she found his body. mum died two years later. oon after that, 18-year-old Bridget raped and made pregnant. But the l priest refused to believe her story. o Bridget was packed off to Sean s Abbey, a notorious home for married mothers run by cruel nuns at crea, 12 miles away. abies born there were given to rich families for adoption while their ng mums had to work as skivvies. he 2013 movie Philomena – in which Dench’s character searches for her d – centred on the same home where the Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus ruled vulnerable young women’s lives.

Bridget gave birth to a son, Kieran, in 1956. He was sent to the US for adoption.

Phyllis says: “I started my journey in the church in Templemore, where mum had prayed for help before she was so terribly let down.”

From there, she went to the Roscrea home – now a centre for people with special needs. “It’s got such a sad atmosphere – it feels haunted,” she says.

Six days after giving birth there, Bridget got into an argument with a nun.

This “small rebellion” resulted in her being deemed mentally ill and she was banished to England. She was admitted to Manchester Royal Infirmary and Lunatic Asylum.

From medical records, Phyllis found Bridget had received electro-convulsive therapy. She was let out, but attempted suicide so was readmitted for more ECT.

In 1954, she moved to Coventry for a fresh start and met Bill Ryan, Phyllis’s father. “I know she really loved him,” says Phyllis. “It was the only time intimacy meant anything to her.”

But Bill was married and when Bridget, then 26, became pregnant he refused to leave his wife and abandoned her. Phyllis was born in 1956 and Bridget tried to keep her. But she had already turned to the bottle and would leave the baby to cry while she went to the pub.

Nine months later, Bridget handed her daughter to the Moral Welfare Officer at a Catholic orphanage.

She visited her twice in the next two months but found it too hard to bear. In 1960 Phyllis, then four, was adopted.

She said: “Mum wanted to give me to people who would look after me – rather than wait for me to be taken from her.” But Bridget’s life was already spiralling into further misery.

She had three more children, all taken from her – daughter Angela in 1959, a son, Billy in 1962 and Jimmie a year later.

Phyllis says: “The birth certificat­es all said ‘father unknown’. And it must have been obvious Mum was drinking. She wasn’t a fit mother and I don’t know how she was even allowed to go home with the babies then – she wasn’t up to it.”

In another tragic twist, Phyllis found half-brother Billy had died of a heroin overdose after serving in the Falklands conflict and returning with PTSD.

“Like Mum, he had a very troubled life,” she says.

“She was battling terrible odds. Her life had been unbelievab­ly hard with terrible experience­s growing up.

“She was left alone and defenceles­s, sank into despair, a despair made worse by the comfort she sought from drink.” Phyllis, who now works in a care home for people with dementia, added: “I feel so sad that, underneath the turmoil and drunkennes­s, was a woman desperatel­y seeking love, desperate to be a mother.

“I saw clearly how she drank to numb her pain, and I’ve never blamed her for that, nor for giving me up.

“Talking with her while I cared for her I saw glimpses of the real Bridget and they were very precious moments.

“So I’ve tried to give her the voice she never had as a child or a vulnerable young woman – and some of her stolen dignity.

“And I’ve come to understand her better. Her spirit is with me. I am sure she is looking down from heaven, watching over me now.”

ON CARING FOR HER MOTHER

I saw glimpses of the real Bridget... very special moments PHYLLIS WHITSELL

■ Order A Song For Bridget by Phyllis Whitsell with Cathryn Kemp from mirrorcoll­ection.co.uk or 0044 845 143 0001

 ??  ?? CRUEL FATE Bridget was sent to a notorious home for unmarried mothers SAD Phyllis’s story in the Mirror
CRUEL FATE Bridget was sent to a notorious home for unmarried mothers SAD Phyllis’s story in the Mirror
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