I’ve not discussed sex with her

Dear Coleen

My daughter recently turned 16 and I’m ashamed to say I’ve never had the “sex conversation” with her. I’m not sure how it got to this point – I guess I just avoided it – time went on and now she’s 16 and she has a boyfriend.

I’m pretty sure they’re having sex, so I know I have to bring it up at some point, but how do I do it when we’ve never talked about that stuff before?

Coleen says

I’m almost certain she already knows all about the birds and the bees.

So I think you’re off the hook when it comes to a biology lesson (that ship has sailed). However, what you can do is let her know that she can confide in you about anything – whether it’s boy trouble or contraception – and that nothing is off limits. That’s always been my approach with my daughter Ciara.

She knows there’s nothing she can tell me that will make me stop loving her and that I’ve been through all this stuff myself. So just make sure your daughter knows your door is always open. You can also talk to her about safe sex, respecting herself and not giving in to pressure from her friends – or boyfriends – to do anything she’s not ready for.

It might feel a bit awkward for a minute, but so what? Once you’ve had the first conversation, it’ll be a lot easier to have the next one.