Celebrities? Not Strictly speaking...
Ashley Roberts, 36
Former Pussycat Dolls star Ashley is no stranger to reality TV, appearing on I’m a Celebrity… and The Jump, judging on Dancing on Ice and co-presenting Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway. She said: “I’m going to throw my heart and soul into this.”
Seann Walsh, 32
Stand-up comedian Seann was only 12 when he performed his first gig. He has since gone on to tour venues all over the UK. Born in Lewisham, South London, but raised in Brighton, he was a TV regular on Virtually Famous and Play To The Whistle.
Kate Silverton, 48
Essex-born mum-of-two Kate is a BBC newsreader and journalist who has fronted Panorama, Big Cat Live, My Family at War and Propertywatch. Producers on Strictly have had to order in special shoes for Kate because of her size nine feet.
Graeme Swann, 39
Ex-england bowler Graeme was ECB Cricketer of the Year in 2010. When an elbow injury affected his performance in the 2013 Ashes series, the spinner retired and became a pundit. He was lead singer in indie band Dr Comfort and the Lurid Revelations.
Joe Sugg, 26
The brother of top vlogger Zoella is a star in his own right. Wiltshire-born Joe has over 25 million fans and shares his life via Youtube channels Thatcherjoe, Thatcher-joevlogs and Thatcherjoegames, nodding to his training as a roof thatcher.
Faye Tozer, 42
Born in Northampton, the Steps singer grew up in Dunstable, Beds. She’s sold 25 million records as a member of the bubble-gum pop band. Faye also performed in musical shows Tell Me on a Sunday, Singing in the Rain and Over the Rainbow.
Danny John-jules, 57
London-born actor of Dominican parents, he’s Cat in Red Dwarf and starred in BBC’S Death in Paradise from 2011 as policeman Dwayne Myers. Previously a West End dancer, Danny also appeared in Wham!’s Edge of Heaven video.
Lauren Steadman, 25
The double World Champion Paralympic triathlete and Rio silver medallist, 25, from Peterborough, Cambs, was born without a complete right arm. She also competed in the Paralympics in Beijing in 2008 and London 2012 as a swimmer. WITH Strictly Come Dancing and The Great British Bake Off announcing their final line-ups at the same time, all I could say was “thank God the Bake Off contestants wore cooking aprons”.
I’m not saying I didn’t recognise any of this year’s Strictly celebrities. It’s just that even the ones that may have been on my showbiz radar have amassed some heavy cloud cover over the years.
This lack of star quality surely now means the pro dancers can demand the celebrity fee, while their “famous” partners pick up the standard weekly rate.
I’m not having a pop at the contestants. I’m sure they’ll do their best to entertain us.
I also know we’ve had underwhelming line-ups in the past which have gone on to produce exciting contests.
The point is we’ve never had one THIS underwhelming. What’s really puzzling me is the BBC hired a new booking team armed with a little black book that was supposed to be a who’s who of showbiz.
So either the book went missing or they were told the format is king and they shouldn’t go blowing the licence payers’ money on big names.
There is of course another explanation. That the big stars all said“no”. Perhaps they were too busy and couldn’t
Charles Venn, 45
You might recognise London actor Charles from Casualty, Eastenders, Footballer’s Wives and Sky One’s Dream Team. Also known as Chucky, the dad of two has also appeared in Hollywood movies The Bourne Ultimatum and The Dark Knight. devote the required time. Or perhaps their partners were aware of the infamous Strictly curse and screamed “over my dead body!”
The list does have a whiff of “Tesco substitutions” about it. You ordered Louis Walsh, we’ve delivered Seann Walsh instead.
It didn’t help that the BBC tried to manufacture some media frenzy by announcing the names one at a time.
Most of the unveilings barely warranted a shrugged, “oh”. By the time we got round to Susannah Constantine, it was less What Not To Wear more What Not To Book.
The BBC will no doubt say that instead of going for household names, the bookers purposely went for names that are known in different parts of the household.
The theory being that all those parts will then come together to watch their own favourites and end up getting hooked on the whole show. That strikes me as high risk.
However, I’ll always believe in the magic of Strictly. If anyone can pull this off they can.
So, come November, if you spot me up in Blackpool wearing a feather boa and waving an “I pity the fools who don’t vote for Danny John-jules” banner, do pop over and say hi.
Susannah Constantine, 56
The television presenter and fashion journalist was the final contestant to be announced yesterday and unfortunately is among the least likely to win this year’s series. Bookies say the What Not To Wear presenter, from Hammersmith, West London, has odds of 25/1.