Rich best friend makes fun of our modest lives
Dear Coleen
I’m a woman in my late-60s and have a friend who I’ve known since my childhood. We were very close as children, however our lives took different paths. I married my teenage sweetheart and never had children. She married a very wealthy man she met through work and has grown-up kids. They live a very privileged life.
My husband and I don’t have much money but we get by. We’ve always had a wonderful, supportive relationship and we’re happy and fulfilled.
My friend, however, is always pointing out what I haven’t got – I feel like she pities me, but sometimes she makes fun of the things in my home, too. Maybe it’s because we’ve known each other all our lives that she feels she can say these things and they won’t hurt me, but they do.
It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to see this friend. I’m wondering if she still sees me only to make herself feel better about her own life. Her husband and children are entitled and spoiled, but she’d never admit that.
Coleen says
Well, you might not have her cash and her big house, but I think you’re richer than your friend in so many other ways. You have a wonderful husband and you’re happy and I get the feeling that she has neither of these things, which goes to prove that money can’t buy you everything.
It seems to me that your friend is unhappy, but instead of admitting that to you and talking about it, she puts you down in an attempt to make herself feel better.
Frankly, I think you should be honest with her about how she’s making you feel. Tell her that it’s not acceptable to make these comments, because they do hurt you.
If she genuinely cares for you and wants to maintain your friendship, then she’ll listen and she’ll be far more careful about what she says in future.
I think you should be very proud of your marriage and of the way you treat other people. The bottom line is, you are happy, and I think your friend is envious of this.