Divorce IS the only WAY out of THIS Hell

Dear Coleen

My husband had to retire earlier than expected, which has put a lot of stress on our already difficult marriage. I’m beside myself – he’s lazy and doesn’t want to do anything, and it’s like talking to a brick wall.

I cry every day and now feel the only way forward is divorce. He’s very stubborn and has never talked things through – he just gets angry and I can’t take any more.

I have mentioned divorce but he’s not budging. I know I can’t stay living with him and don’t know what to do to move forward.

Coleen says

I know it sounds silly when you live together, but write him a letter, put it in front of him and walk away. If he’s not listening and won’t engage with you, then it could be the way forward. And if he doesn’t respond, then tell him you’ll have to put the wheels in motion and do what’s right for you.

Your assets will be split fairly by the court, but as for your living situation, until that happens, yes it’s hard. I don’t know whether you have a friend or relative you can stay with while it’s ongoing. If not, you have to plough through it until it’s sorted.

I know you feel sad and let down, but being proactive will really help you get through this. Once you start taking control, I can’t tell you how much better you’ll feel – I know because I’ve been there.

Most solicitors will give initial advice free or the first hour free of charge – double check what the payments are like. You can also get advice on separation and divorce via Citizens Advice, and there’s lots of good information online.