BEING BACK AT MUM’S HAS HIT SEX WITH WIFE

Dear Coleen

I’m a man in my early 30s and recently I’ve been having problems getting aroused and being able to have sex. If it does happen, it’s usually short-lived and I can tell my wife is getting fed up and is worried she’s the problem – she’s not.

A few months ago, we moved in with my mum after we sold our flat and the intention was to stay for a short time until we found a place of our own, but we haven’t.

We are staying in my childhood bedroom and my mum always seems to be around.

She means well, but she’s a big character and she’s always interfering and giving us “advice”, which I know my wife finds hard to take. Have you any advice?

Coleen says

Nine times out of 10, the cause of sexual dysfunction is psychological, and maybe moving back to your mum’s is triggering all kinds of stuff for you.

Maybe she’s making you feel like a teenager again rather than a man and a husband? Maybe you’re afraid to have sex in case she hears?

It’s not the ideal situation for a healthy love life, but at least it’s a temporary one. I’m sure you will find a place of your own but, in the meantime, why not get away with your wife for a night or a weekend and reconnect without your mum being around?

And talk to your wife, too – explain how you feel and reassure her it’s not to do with her, but to do with how you feel about living back home.

And to put your mind at rest, you could always see your GP to rule out any physical cause.