I DON’T LOVE NEW MAN LIKE I LOVE MY EX

Dear Coleen

I split up with my long-term boyfriend a few months ago when he announced he’d found a job in another part of the country.

We’re both 26 and had been together three years. I was (and still am) in love with him, so it hit me hard.

However, I’ve tried really hard to get myself back on track and to have a social life, and I met another guy I really liked.

He’s great – fun, sexy and really good to me. There’s only one problem – he’s not my ex!

I don’t know whether to hold out in the hope I can rekindle things with my ex, as we’re still in touch as friends, or to accept it’s over and make the most of this new relationship. Although I really like my boyfriend and enjoy spending time with him, I don’t love him like I love my ex. Help.

Coleen says

It sounds like your new man is a bit of a placeholder and I’m not sure you’re ready to be in a relationship while you still feel like this about your ex. It’s not fair on him and I don’t think it can work if you haven’t let go of the past.

If I were you, I’d take a break from relationships and take some time out to be on your own, come to terms with the breakup and figure out what you want.

Or be honest with your boyfriend and tell him you’re not ready for anything serious. He might be OK with a no-strings arrangement that offers no guarantees.

It doesn’t sound as if your ex is interested in rekindling things, so don’t get involved in another relationship if it’s just because you don’t fancy the idea of being on your own.