WE CAN’T AGREE OVER HOME SCHOOLING

Dear Coleen

My wife and I have been arguing a lot over our two children, who are aged seven and nine.

She’s basically given up on the idea of homeschooling and lets them play in the garden or sit on the ipad all afternoon while she works or sorts the house out.

She just says that if I don’t like it, then I can stop my work and teach them, which makes no sense as I’m the main breadwinner and we can’t afford for me to lose my job.

I want us to have stricter boundaries for the kids, but she’s very laid back – far too relaxed in my opinion.

I’m not sure what we can do about it as every discussion ends in an argument. Can you help?

Coleen says

This is a high-pressure situation for parents of young children – you’re not teachers and you have your own work to do.

You may be the main breadwinner in your family, but your wife still has to work. Can you find a compromise where you each do an hour of schoolwork with the kids? I also don’t think you should put too much pressure on yourselves with schooling – every family is different and all you can do is make it work for you.

OK, you might not be doing as much as some other parents, but so what? I think all children will need to catch up when they return to school and teachers will be prepared for this.

Different parenting styles can be a major flashpoint for couples but it’s important to present a united front.

Also, have some rules around family time – ie, the devices are switched off. And use things like ipads as rewards for getting down to some schoolwork.

It’s important to agree on a plan going forward and meet each other halfway – you have to be on each other’s side.