MY HUSBAND IS STUCK IN HIS COMFORT ZONE

Dear Coleen

I am a woman in my early 70s and I’ve been married for over 40 years. My husband and I get along well – we don’t argue much. However, over the past few years he’s changed quite a lot and become really quite boring. And during lockdown he’s been insufferable.

He’s always complaining about something or somebody and has got really stuck in his ways.

It’s frustrating because we have the time and the money to make the most of life, but he’d rather carry on doing the same thing every day.

I’ve been talking a lot about what we can do when lockdown is eased more and we’re able to travel again, but he’s not interested. I can barely get him to come for a walk on our local common.

I don’t want to end our marriage, but I’m at a loss as to how I can be happy with someone who won’t leave his comfort zone.

Coleen says

I think lots of retired couples find themselves in a similar situation – reaching this point in life and realising they’re not on the same page as their partner and wanting different things from life.

Try having a serious talk and explaining that you’re not ready to see out your days in a chair in front of the telly, and see if you can compromise on some things.

Also, you don’t have to do everything together – if you want to do more, you can. It’s perfectly OK to have different hobbies and friends, and still be content when you are together.

It’s about finding a balance that you’re both happy with.