I’M GAY BUT I’VE ACTED STRAIGHT ALL OF MY LIFE

Dear Coleen

I’m a 24-year-old man and for several years I’ve gone out of my way to convince my family and friends that I’m straight.

However, I’m gay and I’m at the point where I want to come out, but I’ve lied for so long that I don’t know how people will react or if they’ll believe me. I’ve had girlfriends and acted like one of the lads, so this is going to come as a bit of a shock.

I’m worried I won’t be accepted or they’ll think it’s just a phase I’m going through.

Can you offer some advice?

Coleen says

I’m not so sure it’s going to come as such a big shock. If you felt you had to convince people and put on a big act, then maybe your family and friends have suspected you’re gay for a while, but haven’t said anything because they feel it’s your choice to come out and you’ll do it when you feel ready.

Now you are ready and so what if you’ve had girlfriends and acted a part? I think people will understand that, too.

I have lots of gay friends and I know from talking to them that coming out can be a really hard thing to do and you have to do it when it feels right.

Why not start by confiding in one person like your mum or a trusted friend and then take it from there. That might give you the confidence to keep going.

Also, you don’t know how your family will react to your news – they might be hugely relieved and delighted for you. It’s the beginning of the rest of your life.

Good luck and here’s to living the life you want to live.