My torment at forced adoption of my child
‘ Shame’ caused mum to give up her baby in 1970s
A WOMAN forced to give her child up for adoption after falling pregnant as a youth has told of the pain she experienced after being separated from the baby.
Blanaid, from Dublin, spoke of the shame she experienced as she was forced to hand over her son, something that was all too common.
She told RTE’S Brendan O’connor how she returned from living in London in 1975 after her mother was involved in an accident.
Blanaid said: “I l i nked up with an old boyfriend and one of the nights I went back to his bedsit and that was the night my life changed. I only met him once since that day.”
When her mother f ound out she was expecting, she was taken to the family doctor who lambasted her for getting pregnant.
Blanaid sai d: “This doctor was pretty c o n s e r v a t i v e , v e r y r e l i g i o u s a n d h e demoralised me and more or less told me I was incapable of being a mother to this child and that I was so stupid to get pregnant.
“My mum who was quite broad minded for those days had her own worries.”
Bl a n a i d s p e n t time at a mother a nd baby home and then arrangements were made t o have her s on adopted.
S h e s a i d : “He was placed in my arms and I j ust f el l i n l ove with him and I still love him even though I haven’t met him. You love a child forever.”
More heartbreak came for Blanaid as she was allowed to keep her baby for a short time. But he was taken away before she got a chance to say goodbye.
She went on to marry and has had two children with her husband which she said opened up old wounds further.
Blanaid added: “I coped OK with my daughter but when my son came along, as I had already had a son, I got a bit unwell and it just sent me on a downward spiral.”
S h e went on t o c ont a c t Barnardo s’ post- adoption service which has helped countless women who suffered a similar fate.
Despite not having a relationship with her son, Blanaid knows who he is and has tried to make contact with him but to no avail.
She said: “I can’t see myself leaving this world with not having met him. That’s my real hope. I appreciate he’s living a full life.
“I don’t know anything about him personally but what I can see about his career is that he’s doing great things and I have that consolation.”