SHE’S UPSET & ANGRY ABOUT MY ‘ WORK WIFE’

Dear Coleen

I have to work very closely with a female colleague as we run projects together.

I’m working from home at the moment, which means I’m on video calls to her all the time and we also email and text a lot. We’re friends as well as workmates and I jokingly call her my “work wife”.

However, my girlfriend doesn’t like it and the other night she had a huge go at me over this relationship.

She accused me of talking more to this colleague and paying her more attention than I do to her.

I laughed and told her not to be so paranoid, and she’s hardly spoken to me since. I think she’s being ridiculous – am I wrong?

Coleen says

Well, maybe you have to think a bit deeper about why your girlfriend has reacted like this. Part of it is probably the intensity of working from home and having this friendship in her orbit – usually she wouldn’t have a clue what you were up to at work.

But also, maybe she is feeling a bit sidelined and insecure because she can see how well you get on with this other woman.

And if she’s not feeling that close to you at the moment, then it’s probably playing on her mind.

Rather than laugh at her, reassure her and then make the effort to focus on her when the working day is over.

It’s important to leave all the work stuff behind completely, which is harder when you’re working from home. That means not answering texts or emails ( from this woman or any other colleague) and not talking about work or the people at work.

At the moment, we all have to try harder not to let work encroach on our free time and relationships.