It’s okay to be a good enough mum.. GOOD ADVICE
Alive and Kicking presenter CLARE MCKENNA believes women put too much pressure on themselves when it comes to children and wellness and says they need to find me time
Newstalk star and wellness e x p e r t C l a r e Mc Ke n n a reveals how she maintains her healthy mind, body and soul and unveils her top tips on beating stress.
The Dublin star hosts Alive and Kicking, a health and wellness show on newstalk and she also presents on Ireland Am.
Clare, 42, told the Irish Mirror : “I ’ve always been into health and fitness, I’ve been known to try every exercise endeavour, I ’m really into going off on retreats.
“I ’v e always been sl agged f or carr ying a water bottle with me everywhere I go.
“I never thought about it being a show, but my mate joked that this show is perfect for me as I ’ve been drinking nettle tea for years.
“So I took over ‘ Alive and Kicking’ from Ciara Kelly ( circled below).
“I never want to preach on my show, I think when it comes to health and wellness the common denominator is that you’re happy.
“If that means sitting on the couch and being happy and drinking a bottle of wine, ok ultimately if you do it every night it’s not going to be good for your health but I don’t like this ‘ should’ word.
“I t r y and l ean more on t he wellness and little things you can incorporate into your li fe, but I never like to lecture people.”
Mum- of- two Clare admits juggling can be tricky : “Pre- covid I was very busy running from one thing to another, I work freelance so I was busy collecting them from their various activities.
“I was shoehorning all my work before 1pm so it’s really hard.
“The phrase the ‘ Good enough mother’ should be used more.
“We overthink a lot of it now, we know a lot about things li ke nutrition now.
“My mum was a stay at home mum, most of the time we had home cooked meals, but sometimes we had spaghetti hoops and that was fine too.
“Findus crispy pancakes, were the norm, just whack it in the oven.
“Now we’re all like no screen time, no treats, but back in the day kids were thrown out the door and came back for their dinner, now it seems we’re with them all the time.
“We put ourselves under a lot of pressure particularly when we’re juggling other things, I believe in going easy on yourself.
“Sometimes you end up stressing yourself out and end up shouting at the kids because they’re watching telly.
“What is the difference if they just spent a couple of hours and you were relaxed and sat down and did something together, I think we need to go easier on ourselves.
“You have to take time for yourself and it’s particularly tough when the babies are smaller, you’ve got that umbilical cord still attached, it’s hard to leave them.
“You feel bad when you’re not with them and it’s understandable particularly when they were i n your tummy for so long.
“You feel only you know them, them but ut you need to let other people help.”
Clare admits she wasn’t always ys great at self care: “I dropped the e exercise ball, when my babies were re young, the phones can be bad that at becomes your default.
“But it’s not actually giving you the he outlet that you need, I couldn’t ’ t believe when I went back to the e HIIT class in my local gym.
“I couldn’t get over it, as I could d think of nothing else except the reps ps as you’re just zoning out for a while le and not thinking of all the bottles es you have to make.
“Then you’re like when I ’ve done ne the bottles, I have to take that thing ng out of the freezer or put the wash on. n.
“When you think of mindfulness ss
WORKING MUM Clare knows it’s not easy being a parent and having a career
and bringing yourself back to the mo moment, when you think of me meditation you think you need to t take yourself off to a hill or sit wit with a monk.
“But really all you need to do is to t quieten down the mind, be it d during a yoga class or a walk.”
Exercise i s as much about mental health as well as physical: “It took me having two kids and into my late 30s to realise that exercise is as good for your brain as it is for your body.
“You can actually get energy from exercise, I used to think you were just slogging yourself to get back into skinny jeans.
“There’s so much we know now about and the hormones
we secrete, the stress hormone is cortisol, so if you’re going around in stress, you’ll secrete more of that.
“That ends up sticking to your middle, so i f you’re not getting enough sleep or exercise, that will add to it.
“Then y ou st ar t beating yourself up as you’re not eating the right food, it goes around and around.
“Instead if we were a b i t k i n d e r t o ourselves rather than i nst ead of f orcin g ourselves to do five Crossfit sessions at 5am, we’d be happier.
“If we just took a bit of time out to
go for a walk or do some online yoga, it’s just a little tick, like a pat on the back that we’ve done something for ourselves.
“We’re an ‘ always on culture’, I don’t think it’s fair to ask parents who have only got their kids to bed t o open t heir laptops and go online a g a i n a n d s e n d emails.
“I think when we’re talking about worklife balance and how pro ductiv e peopl e can be, we need to make sure they’re getting their rest and reset time, as they ’ ll be more productive the following day. I know
people who don’t have kids don’t want to hear a blow by blow account of your kid’s constipation the night before, but we should be allowed to say, look I had a rough night with the kids I ’ ll be in at 10am.
“We should be al l owed honest.”
Each Week Clare Mckenna looks at ‘ health’ in the widest sense of the word.
From mindfulness to skin problems, from personal health journeys to tips for better exercise, Clare tries to bring you a dose of happy and healthy living live every Sunday.
Alive and Kicking Newstalk Sundays 9- 10am.
to be
My mum was a stay at home mum, most of the time we had home cooked meals, but sometimes we had spaghetti hoops and that was fine too.