IAN HYLAND
On last night’s telly
Eastenders, BBC1
T★ ★ ★ ★
here’s only one sensible response when you hear a rumour that Ian Beale is going to be murdered on December 25th.
All together now: “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…”
I know. With the year we’ve had, I too was hoping Eastenders might break with tradition and offer us some festive cheer. Some chance. This week it was all about poor old Ian fighting for his life in hospital as the police tried to work out who assaulted him last week.
Talk about a tricky investigation. It would be easier to say who hasn’t assaulted Ian Beale.
During his time in Walford he’s had more slaps than a Bavarian’s thigh.
To compound his misery, Ian was
hit by a double blow last night. First up, he had a brain seizure minutes after getting married to Sharon by his hospital bed.
( To clarify: The blow was the seizure, not marrying Sharon.)
Then, as the medics rushed in, his son Bobby appeared to admit to some kind of involvement in the attack.
It was ridiculous melodrama, of course. I kind of enjoyed it though.
In fact, these shorter 20- minute episodes have been a surprise shot in
the arm for the Beeb’s previously ailing flagship soap.
Last night, as Kathy admonished Bobby and Peter, the writers even appeared to indulge in a little Shakespearean rhyming.
“Your father’s in there critically ill. And you’re here talking about his will.”
Normally, I would have dismissed this as a coincidence.
Then Ben arrived, saying: “What’s this? Is Ian going downhill?”
Yes, Ben.
Better call the Old Bill.
I was hoping Eastenders might offer us some festive cheer. Some chance