SUSPICIOUS OF WIFE’S MOVE TO SEPARATE BED

Dear Coleen

My wife and I have been together 10 years, but over the past couple of months I feel something is different and I’m getting suspicious.

She’s a lawyer and, before lockdown, she was out all the time with her “male lawyer friends”.

I’m not usually a jealous person, but the amount of time she spent going out did worry me.

Since lockdown, she’s been very cranky, presumably because she’s not been able to go out, and we are now sleeping in separate beds.

We have sons and, at the moment, I feel as if I’m both mum and dad to them.

What do I do?

Coleen says

It sounds like she’s detached herself emotionally and physically. It’s not fair on you or the kids if she’s just checked out, but why? You have to ask her.

The only good thing about this lockdown is that we do have the opportunity to talk because we’re stuck at home and there’s less to distract us.

Don’t wait until we can all go out and she’s back at the office.

I wonder why you haven’t had a heart to heart yet and asked her why she’s cut herself off and why she’s in another bed – is it because you’re afraid of the answer?

You can’t keep hiding from it, though, so start by telling her how unhappy you are. Tell her that her behaviour has made you suspicious, but if she’s not seeing someone else, then what is it?

And if she says she doesn’t want to talk about it, you have to be strong and insist that you do – because you don’t want to carry on in a relationship where there’s no connection and you sleep in separate rooms.