SHOULD I TAKE RUNAWAY FIANCE BACK?

Dear Coleen

I need your advice on what to do about my ex-fiance. We broke up two years ago – well, he dumped me while we were in the middle of arranging our wedding.

Luckily, we hadn’t gone as far as invitations or confirming the venue, but it was still humiliating.

He moved out and I’ve been on my own since.

Now he’s been in touch a lot, acknowledging how badly he’d handled things, apologising and saying he’d made a terrible mistake ending the relationship.

He says he was overwhelmed and that it all seemed to be moving so fast. Around the time he was also very stressed at work, but that situation is now resolved.

He wants us to try again and I do still love him, but how can I trust him not to run off again?

Coleen says

Maybe everything he’s saying is true – although it sounds as though he could have handled it better – but of course it’s hard to trust someone who’s broken your heart.

First of all, you should make this decision about you and what you want. I’m sure some of your family and friends will shriek in horror if you tell them you’re back together.

But it’s your life, so try to focus on what feels right for you and everyone else will just have to accept it.

However, my advice would be not to jump straight back into a full-blown relationship and to take things slowly.

Trust has to be rebuilt and he has to prove he’s worthy of that trust – it’s not an instant thing.

So I would do a lot of talking and start dating again – and be brutally honest with him that you don’t actually know if it’s going to work for you.

You might meet him a few times and decide that you’ve moved on – and you don’t want to go back.