When I found out Anne had breast cancer I went white with shock. 30 minutes later my own doctor called..
LINDA’S STORY
I could feel the anger rising in me. I looked at Mo and saw her crying LINDA NOLAN ON HER CANCER DIAGNOSIS
delivered the rest of my sentence. “Please tell me I don’t have to have chemo,” I sighed at him, still not lifting my head from out my hands.
And he told me exactly what I did not want to hear.
“Oh my God, it just gets worse and worse,” I wailed, not looking up.
“You know, there is a cold cap you can wear, which can help decrease hair shedding,” he said, as though I was a cancer novice. I was severely p***ed off by this point.
I sharply retorted: “So this is going to be how I live the rest of my life, Mr Danwata? You know, getting another cancer diagnosis year after year?”
I could feel the anger rising in me. Maureen had her hand on my back, trying to keep me calm.
I looked at her and then I saw her crying and the nurse gave us tissues. I wanted to get back into bed pretending none of this was happening but knew I needed to hear the rest.
Mr Danwata explained the cancer was not curable, they’re just keeping it at bay until they can’t. He gave me the paperwork saying “palliative chemo”.
Seeing it written down makes it real, that it’s to buy me time. It was awful.
I got sad thinking about the children – nieces, nephews, grandchildren – will I see them grow up? And then I gave myself a good talking to.
Is this how you’re going to be? Are you going to let yourself do this for the rest of your life, worry about what may be? Because if you do that then cancer has won.
Do not let it destroy the life you have, which could be many years, or it could be a year or two years or six months, but don’t let it destroy that.
Maureen put her arms around me, and Mr Danwata did his Mr Positive spiel and when he finished talking, I told him: “My sister Anne is going through it at the same time – she’s in now having her first chemo session.”
It was his turn to be shocked. His eyes widened and he said: “Oh boy, that’s difficult.” “Well,” I said, doing my classic trying to make light of the situation, “Maybe we could have our chemo together”.
To my astonishment, he said: “I will talk to your sister’s consultant.”
Anne was so anxious about the whole thing and said she’d love to have sessions together.
Mr Danwata was as good as his word and arranged it.
■ Linda & Anne Nolan: Stronger Together is out tomorrow and available to preorder on Amazon with free delivery.
■ Read Anne and Linda’s exclusive interview now in New and OK! magazines.