I TOLD MY KIDS THEIR FATHER CHEATED ON ME

Dear Coleen

My husband and I have been married for over 20 years and have two sons, aged 22 and 19. Last year I found out my husband had been cheating with a girl from his office.

He insists it’s all over and that it was a stupid fling that got out of hand when he was stressed.

Regrettably, I told my sons in a fit of temper. To be honest, they’re old enough to see what’s going on and it was pretty obvious, so I’m not sure I could have kept it from them.

My youngest, who is sensitive and quiet, thinks I should forgive his dad and keep the family together. But my eldest son is furious and keeps telling me I need to leave him and that if I don’t he’ll leave home.

I’m completely torn. What do you think I should do?

Coleen says

You know what, your kids are adults and they have a right to their opinion.

But ultimately, this is your decision, so don’t be swayed by their thoughts.

You should not stay with your husband out of a sense of guilt towards your younger son, who clearly wants to keep his family together no matter what.

But don’t be pushed into leaving him either, just because your older son is quite rightly angry with what his dad did.

It’s tough when kids become aware of their parents’ relationship issues, but it happens.

What you need to be thinking about it whether or not you want to save your marriage, and that decision is yours alone.

Perhaps you could speak to a counsellor, either with your husband or on your own?

It helps to talk and process things, and then you’re not being pulled left, right and centre trying to please everybody else.