GETTING GRIEF FOR SPLIT FROM A CHEAT

Dear Coleen

I split up with my girlfriend recently after finding out she’d slept with an ex. To be honest, I think we’d both had enough of each other. The relationship had run its course and the one-night stand gave me a reason to end it.

We actually split quite amicably and agreed to try to stay on good terms as we have lots of friends in common. We also agreed not to talk about what happened out of respect for each other.

My issue is that because I was technically the one who did the dumping, I’ve had a bit of grief from her family and a couple of her friends.

My ex has obviously told everyone I ended it, but failed to mention she slept with her ex. If anyone has a right to be hurt and angry, it’s me.

Coleen says

Maybe your ex is more upset about the end of the relationship than she’s admitted to you.

Now she’s had a chance to reflect, she could be feeling angry about some things that happened in your relationship, and she’s confiding in her mates and her family.

But you shouldn’t shy away from reaching out to your friends. You don’t have to go into why you broke up, but you can explain that you’re feeling down and you don’t deserve to get a hard time for dumping your girlfriend because no one knows the full story.

Also, if you are still on good terms with your ex, then explain to her that you’ve had some grief from her friends and family.

Say it would be good if she set the record straight with them, so you don’t have to – or at least tell them to back off.