I’ve fallen for a guy 22 years younger after husband died
Dear Coleen
I’m a 48-year-old woman and my husband died nearly a year ago. Since then, I’ve become close to a male colleague, who’s 26, and it’s unexpectedly developed into more than friendship.
He’s been very supportive over the past year and recently he admitted he’s always found me attractive, but never said anything in the past because he knew I was married. He also thought I wouldn’t be interested in someone of his age.
We’ve kissed a few times and he makes me feel amazing – always complimenting me and saying how fit I am. His friendship has helped me get myself together over the past year and I’m starting to feel happy again.
I’m worried about the age gap though in terms of where the relationship can actually go.
I’m not the sort of person who has casual flings or one-night stands and I’d been married for 20 years before my husband passed away.
He wants us to go away for a weekend soon and I know he wants to sleep with me, but I feel so nervous about it. I’d love some advice.
Coleen says
I think you’re still in quite a vulnerable place after the loss of your husband, so I think you have to be careful about what this relationship means. Has this guy just helped to fill a space in your life or is it something more?
In terms of the age difference between you, who’s to say a relationship wouldn’t work out?
However, there are challenges, especially as you get older and find yourself at very different stages of life and wanting different things.
If I were you, I’d take it slowly, be honest with him about how you feel and, if he is just interested in sex, then it’ll be obvious and he won’t stick around.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a fling and a bit of fun, but you’ve said you’ve never been the type of person to jump straight into bed with a guy.
My advice would be to enjoy the relationship, but don’t take it any further unless you’re sure – and right now, you don’t sound sure. If you did get involved sexually and things didn’t work out, it would be another blow after your husband’s death and could also complicate things at work.
We’ve kissed a few times... he makes me feel amazing