I kid you snot
When the BBC muscled in on ITV’S family reunion territory with that jaw-dropping Mo Farah documentary, you could have forgiven the channel for feeling a little aggrieved.
Not a bit of it though. And this week we discovered why. ITV knew it had one hell of a Long Lost Family series finale in the can and ready to go.
Two incredible stories and a bucketful of tears. Only this time, half the bucket was down to tears of laughter.
I know it’s only July, but there will not be a more unexpectedly hilarious exchange on TV this year than the one between Nicky Campbell and Unnamed Researcher Lady (URL) on Monday.
The team were looking for a guy called Simon, who had been adopted as a baby over half a century ago and ended up in Canada. The trail had gone cold. Until they started trawling social media. Then, bingo.
URL: “The Simon we found is actually a punk. (Pause). And he’s changed his name. (Pause). To Simon Snotface.”
At which point, Nicky - and millions of viewers - burst out laughing. It says much about Nicky’s professionalism that he managed to quickly regroup and seek the necessary clarification: “Snotface?”
“Yes,” replied URL, somehow maintaining her amazing deadpan demeanour. And when we finally met up with Simon? Exactly as you might have imagined him to be.
A long-haired, grizzled walking ball of “wow” and “awesome”, who explained – pun intended, I hope – “I changed it to Snotface… and it stuck like glue.”
Such light relief was especially welcome during this finale, which featured an almost unbearable extra twist of fate’s thoughtless knife in its second story. I was hiding behind a tea towel going, “oh no, don’t show them the photo, Nicky”, “oh please, don’t read the letter, Davina” and “please don’t be dead” way before the second ad break.
Thankfully, the night ended on an upbeat note as the closing credits revealed that Mr Snotface is planning a trip to the UK to meet the rest of his family. Memo to ITV: Please film him going through passport control at Heathrow for the next series.