Meg v Jezza Monday
Here’s a Who Wants to Be a Millionairestyle brainteaser for you all.
For what outstanding public service should Meghan Markle and Prince Harry earn a medal this week? A) They’ve managed a week with zero publicity.
B) They’ve managed the week with zero self-pity.
C) They’ve managed a week without invading their own privacy. D) They managed a weak, smug, ego-driven manchild right off our TV screens.
Yes, if you’re struggling with this one, Jeremy Clarkson, I suggest you phone a friend now – while you still have some. For, Haz and Meg are finally giving the UK something other than a good kicking: they’re making our screens a Clarkson-free zone.
Apparently there’s diddly squat chance Amazon will renew his farm series for season three. And ITV’S big boss says she has “no commitments” to keeping him on Millionaire once his contract expires.
Meanwhile, Meg was unimpressed by Jeremy’s public apology.
First her spokesman claimed the punchy Top Gear star had apologised in private – but only to Harry.
Then, they slammed Clarkson for a “long-standing pattern” of “hate rhetoric, dangerous conspiracy theories, and misogyny”.
(Otherwise known as the trifecta of douchebaggery.)
Considering the scandal began when Jeremy called for Meg to be “shamed” like Cersei Lannister (I’ll let you Google the foul specifics)...
...you’d think he’d pay more attention to what happened next in the Game of Thrones plot. Namely, Cersei has an explosive reaction to her bullies – and reduces them all to a big old smoking pile of rubble and ashes.
One that looks remarkably similar to the current state of Jezza’s career.