Best mate so bitter I want to fire her as my maid of honour
I’m due to get married in August, but I’ve had a huge falling out with my maid of honour, who’s been my best friend since we were at college.
It’s spoiling my enjoyment of the run-up to the wedding. I wish I could just erase her from the day and ask someone else, to step in, but it feels too late as she’s already having a dress made and is very involved in the preparations.
Basically, she just hasn’t been very nice to me. She’s angry and bitter, which I’m guessing comes from the fact that she’s been single for many years.
She constantly undermines me and says my ideas for the wedding are rubbish.
Then on my hen weekend, she got very drunk and made a nasty speech.
She dragged up my past relationships and topped it off by saying how amazed everyone is that I’m getting married before her because she was always the “hot one”. I’ve barely spoken to her since.
What can I do? The truth is, she is a very attractive woman, but she has a mean, unforgiving side and I want to tell her that this is probably why she’s still single. Please help.
Coleen says
Well, maybe she needs a truth bomb! If she feels that she can spout off her opinions without bothering to stop and think if they’re hurtful, then why can’t you? It’s such an important day and it should be a happy day, and perhaps if she hears some home truths then it might make her reassess her behaviour and reflect on why she’s being so mean to you.
I’m guessing it’s more about her than it is about you, and the wedding has triggered lots of negative emotions around her own circumstances and a whole heap of envy.
I think she does need to know that you’re not prepared to risk your wedding being spoiled and that if she treats people badly, she’ll lose them.
She should be on your side, being supportive and happy for you, not making you dread your own wedding.
Hopefully, being honest with her will have an effect but, if it doesn’t, then I’d seriously consider asking someone else to step in.
You can buy a new dress for someone else, but you can’t get your wedding back if she decides to act up.