No kidding AROUND
Celebs who have opened up on why they never had — and never will have — children… By Niamh Mceneaney
Jennifer Aniston is undoubtedly one of the most successful actors in Hollywood. With a plethora of hit TV shows and films under her belt, not to mention all the awards she has collected along the way, it’s easy to see why she is often dubbed America’s sweetheart.
In her personal life she appears to be equally accomplished with a fabulous home in the Hollywood Hills, a wide circle of friends, including all of her on-screen Friends, and a new haircare range which is literally making waves in the beauty industry, she has it all. However, despite all of this, for decades, Aniston (53) has been defined by one question — why she hasn’t had kids. There has been much intrigue and speculation in the media as to the reason behind the fact she never started a family, but Aniston never addressed it — until now.
She recently gave her most intimate interview to Allure magazine for its last ever issue and finally opened up about the question which has followed her around for most of her career.
While it was cruelly claimed that her ex-husband Brad Pitt left her because she refused to have children, it was actually the complete opposite. She tried, but it just didn’t work out for her.
The actress, best known for playing Rachel Green in Friends, said she privately went through a difficult time in her late 30s and 40s, while under media scrutiny.
“I was trying to get pregnant,”she said. It was a challenging road for me, the babymaking road. All the years and years of speculation... It was really hard. I was going through IVF, drinking Chinese teas, you name it. I would’ve given anything if someone had said to me, ‘Freeze your eggs. Do yourself a favour’.you just don’t think it. So here I am today,”she said.“the ship has sailed.”
Despite her difficult journey, she went on to tell the magazine that she had“zero regrets”, adding the media can be cruel towards women in the industry who do not have children, and created a“narrative that I was just selfish”and“just cared about my career. And God forbid a woman is successful and doesn’t have a child”.
While Aniston tried hard to conceive, she has opened up a discussion on how the media treats celebrities who are childless and why we should never jump to any conclusions.
However, there are many stars who are adamant they never want to have children and who have spoken candidly about their decision in the past.
Speaking on Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop podcast, Oprah Winfrey revealed why she never had children. She said,“i don’t think I would have been a good mother for baby children, because I need you to talk to me, and I need you to tell me what’s wrong.
“I can’t just figure it out. And I was always — I knew this about myself — it didn’t feel like it was for me.”
And in an interview with People magazine, Oprah said,“i have not had one regret about that (not having kids).
“I also believe that part of the reason why I don’t have regrets is because I got to fulfil it in the way that was best for me: the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy For Girls In South Africa.”
In a 2016 interview, Renée Zellweger pushed back when asked if she was“craving having a baby”while promoting Bridget Jones’s Baby.
“I never thought like that about
“I thought, maybe I’m just not going to do this...”
anything in my life, really,”she said.“i’ve always been kind of open to whatever may be, curious to see what’s next. I’ve never been that deliberate about my life and the things that I would require in order to be happy.”
The actress also told The Times in 2008, “Motherhood has never been an ambition. I don’t think like that. I never have expectations like ‘when I’m 19 I’m going to do this, and by the time I’ve hit 25 I’m going to do that’.”
In an interview with The Sunday Times, Glow star Alison Brie chatted about the decision she and husband Dave Franco made not to have children. She said,“i don’t really want to have kids. It’s great because I don’t worry about when I should get pregnant — between seasons, while we’re shooting the show (Glow) — I don’t think about it every day. It would be nice, but I think of all the things that would be so stressful.
“I think about how much we’re involved in our cats’ lives. Oh my God, if it was a child!”
During a 2016 interview, Helen Mirren told how not having a family was never“an absolute conscious decision”.
She said,“i was always too engaged in my life as an actress. At that time, I couldn’t comprehend that you could incorporate a child into that without letting a child down in some way. It was never an absolute conscious decision, it was just, ‘Oh, maybe next year, maybe next year,; until really there was no next year.”
And in another interview, she told British Vogue,“(motherhood) was not my destiny. I kept thinking it would be, waiting for it to happen, but it never did, and I didn’t care what people thought. It was only boring old men (who would ask me).”
Sex And The City star Kim Cattrall said in the past“being a biological mother isn’t going to be part of my experience this time around”. She told Oprah magazine,“when I was five, my fantasy was to have a hundred dogs and a hundred kids. I realised that so much of the pressure I was feeling was from outside sources, and I knew I wasn’t ready to take that step into motherhood.”
More recently, the actress said that starring in Sex And The City affected her fertility, telling Piers Morgan’s Life Stories, “I thought to myself,‘wow I have 19-hour days on this series’. I have weekends where I finish on Saturday morning. My Monday morning would start at 4.45am and go to one or two in the morning.
“How could I possibly continue to do that, especially in my early 40s?
“And then I realised what a commitment it was just to do the (IVF) procedures. I thought,‘i don’t think this is going to happen’. It was the first moment, it was extraordinary, in my life where I thought maybe I’m just not going to do this.”
Ashley Judd spoke publicly about her decision not to have children in her 2011 memoir All That Is Bitter And Sweet.“the fact is that I have chosen not to have children because I believe the children who are already here are really mine, too,”she said.“i do not need to go making ‘my own’ babies when there are so many orphaned or abandoned children who need love, attention, time and care.
“I have felt this way since I was at least 18 and I had an argument about it with a childhood friend… I figured it was selfish for us to pour our resources into making our ‘own’ babies when those very resources and energy could not only help children already here, but through advocacy and service transform the world into a place where no child ever needs to be born into poverty and abuse again. My belief has not changed. It is a big part of who I am.”
Speaking in an interview with The Times,
Black-ish star Tracee Ellis Ross told how she never wanted to“fall back on”the expectations of a patriarchal society by marrying and having children — unless it felt right for her.
She said,“i’m constantly asking myself questions, reminding myself, ‘Are you making that decision for you or someone else?
“The husband and the babies are the expectation of what’s supposed to happen at a certain point, and people fall back on, ‘Well, that’s the point of the human species, procreation’. And I’m, like, ‘I think there are a lot of babies, isn’t that part of what’s going wrong, there’s too many?’ Some people could be working on the world being a better place, or just being happy.”
In 2013, Chelsea Handler opened up about her decision not to have children as part of Amanda de Cadenet’s The Conversation interview series. She said,“i definitely don’t want to have kids
... Because I don’t like them. I mean, so many of my friends have kids, but I don’t think I’d be a great mother. I’m a great aunt or, like, friend of a mother.”
Later, in 2017, Handler further addressed the topic of parenthood, saying,“i think you have to be honest about what your strengths are in life — because I don’t have patience, and I wouldn’t be good at it. I think a lot of people probably should be parents, but a lot of people, conversely, shouldn’t. I think embracing your shortcomings isn’t a bad thing.”
Miley Cyrus previously told Ellen de Generes that her decision not to have children was based on environmental reasons.
“We’re getting handed a piece-of-sh*t planet, and I refuse to hand that down to my child,”cyrus said in 2019. “Until I feel like my kid would live on an earth with fish in the water, I’m not bringing in another person to deal with that.”
And it’s not just female stars who have made the decision not to start a family. Mad Men star Jon Hamm told Mr Porter,“i don’t think it’s necessarily an imperative. I’ve got nieces and nephews and I’ve been a teacher. I’ve probably been around kids a lot more than all my friends. I feel if you shut that off entirely, you calcify.you turn into that guy.”
Ricky Gervais told Ellen Degeneres,“i’d worry sick about a baby. I have a cat and I worry about that.”
And during an appearance on
“The Howard Stern Show, Seth Rogen opened up about not having kids with his wife, Lauren Miller Rogen. He said she“wants kids less”than he does, and she“didn’t want to be talked into it”. He added,“she’s just like, ‘uh, no,’ which is great. We have so much fun. I don’t know anyone who gets as much happiness out of their kids as we get out of our non-kids. We’re f ***** g psyched all the time. We’re laying in bed Saturday morning, smoking weed, watching movies naked, just being like, ‘If we had kids we could not be doing this’.” ■