Movie picks
SATURDAY The Machine, Sky Cinema & NOW
Bert Kreischer rose to fame as a stand-up comedian known as The Machine, and in his signature set he recounts his true experience with Russian mobsters while on a boozesoaked college trip.
Now, 23 years later, that trip has come back to haunt him as he and his estranged father (Mark Hamill) are kidnapped back to Russia by the mob to atone for something they say he did.
Together, Bert and his father must retrace the steps of his younger self (Jimmy Tatro) in the midst of a war within a sociopathic crime family, all while attempting to find common ground in their often fraught relationship.
SUNDAY Monsters Vs Aliens, Ch4, 1.40pm
Animated adventure comedy starring Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogan, Hugh Laurie and Will Arnett as a group of misfit monsters. Bride-to-be Susan (Witherspoon) is hit by a radioactive meteorite at her wedding ceremony, causing her to grow into a 50ft giant.
After being tranquilised and captured by the US military, Susan wakes to find she is being held in a facility for monsters, headed up by General Monger (Kiefer Sutherland).
Her fellow inmates are Dr Cockroach, a half-human, halfcockroach (Laurie), B.O.B, a mass of blue goo (Rogen), Link, a fish-ape humanoid (Arnett) and a giant beetle who can’t speak clearly.
Meanwhile, an extraterrestrial threat in the form of an evil squid-like alien called Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson) begins to rear its head.
When Gallaxhar sends a giant probe to retrieve a powerful substance he detects on Earth, Monger convinces the President (Stephen Colbert) to promise the monsters’ freedom if they can stop it.
The monsters mobilise, but things aren’t that simple. It is soon discovered that the powerful substance is within Susan (now known by monster name Ginormica), so Gallaxhar heads to Earth to get the job done himself...
TUESDAY Our Ladies, Film4, 9pm
Set in the 1990s, director Michael Caton-jones’ riotous teenage comedy about a group of Catholic schoolgirls visiting Edinburgh for a choir competition is based on Alan Warner’s 1998 novel The Sopranos.
Orla (Tallulah Greive) is recovering from leukaemia and wants to lose her virginity and get herself some thighhigh boots. Kylah (Marli Siu) has the voice of an angel, but prefers singing in a band. Head girl Kay (Eve Austin) is the butt of most of the gang’s jokes.
Finnoula (Abigail Lawrie) is already cynical and has a quick wit to go with it. And there’s also Chell (Rona Morison) and Manda (Sally Messham).
Together, they intend to use their day to raise merry hell rather than praise the heavens. Before they set off, Sister Condron (Kate Dickie) warns them Edinburgh is a place of sinful wickedness, full of men that would use and discard girls like them easily.
Little does she know that sinful wickedness is exactly what the girls are after. But how will they fit in all this debauchery and win the competition?