I’M SO UNHAPPY ABOUT MY HEIGHT
DEAR JENNIFER: I’m an 18-year-old man and just under 5ft 5ins tall. I met a girl online a while back and we are in a relationship, but I worry that I am going to lose her. We are the same height but when she wears heels, she towers over me.
I once told her that most of my friends are about a foot taller than me and that I’m really insecure about my height, but all she said was that I’ll grow. The problem is, I know she’s into tall guys and if she’d met me in real life rather than online, she would never have chosen me.
She often brags about how tall her other guy friends are and how she has to look up to talk to them.
When we’re out, she often points out some tall guy and says,“look how tall that dude is!”
I don’t think she says these things to deliberately hurt me, but she does do it a lot, and it’s really embarrassing. I suppose I should say something, but I don’t want to come across and whiney and pathetic, as she’ll lose what little respect she has for me.
I just have to grow taller, or else I’ll be never accepted as her life partner, I love her so much. I’ve wanted to be taller for a few years now, as even my 11-year-old brother is catching up to my height.
I’ve put my heart and soul into all kind of exercises. I work out like a beast, but so far nothing has worked. I think I’m stuck being this short and I hate it.
Whenever I’m in public, I can’t help but compare my height to other people and end up hating myself even more.
My life is a joke, so, does that mean I’ll end up hating myself for the rest of my life?
JENNIFER SAYS: Your life is not a joke, nor are you condemned to hating yourself forever more. But I would think carefully about your choice of girlfriend.
If her response to you confiding your insecurity about your height is to point our how tall other people are, I’d question whether she’s right for you. I know you love her, but it sounds as though she is being rather insensitive and not helping you at all.
As to growing more, sadly, no amount of exercise is going to make you taller, especially as you are effectively an adult. It may make you stronger and fitter, but that’s it, so please stop punishing yourself unnecessarily.
Most men will have reached their maximum height by the time they reach 18, and this will have been determined largely by their DNA, as well as sometimes their lifestyle and nutrition in earlier childhood.
A small minority of people will continue growing until they reach 21, usually in cases of delayed puberty.you could speak to your doctor if you’re concerned, but I am not sure they will be able to help.
In extreme cases of height-related insecurity, some people opt for leg-lengthening surgery, which can add inches to a person’s height. But this is a costly, complicated, and often painful procedure that has a high rate of post-op complications. Given this, it’s not to be undertaken lightly and I would recommend that anybody considering this undergoes considerable counselling beforehand.
A simpler, certainly safer, and probably more rewarding route would be to learn to accept yourself as you are and not let your height determine the course of your life.
There are plenty of celebrity short men with towering girlfriends. And there is much more to you than your height. Focus on building your confidence.