WHY WON’T FIANCEE TRY SAVE MONEY?

DEAR JENNIFER: I am engaged and due to get married in the spring of next year. I know it’s over a year away, but I also know weddings are not cheap. I also want to buy a house at some point too, so am saving really hard for both.

Unlike my fiancee, who seems to think it’s okay to go on spending money as though it grows on trees.

She works and earns a pretty good salary, but she also goes out for lunch most days. She goes out with her colleagues and friends a couple of night of the week as well.

And she is forever looking at home makeover magazines and websites, planning what she’s going to do with our house when we get it.

I tried suggesting that perhaps she should concentrate more on saving for a deposit, rather than kitting it out, but she didn’t seem to get the difference. In fact, I thought we’d already agreed to save for the big-ticket priorities first, but it seems hers are very different to mine.

As though to rub salt in a wound, she went online last week and bought a set of cushions and a throw for a sofa we don’t yet have — because we are still living with her parents, and have been for the past year.

They are nice people, but I really would rather not be living with them any longer than is necessary. But I do wonder just how keen my fiancee is to really leave home.

This, plus the way she is with her money, makes me also question whether we really are as compatible as I once thought.

I really love her and am sure she feels the same way about me, she’s also my best friend.

However, what do I do if she carries on like this?

JENNIFER SAYS: Love and friendship form a great basis for a relationship, but I believe the ability to communicate openly is just as important.

Almost every week I hear from people who don’t talk about their feelings, fears and worries, and then wonder why their relationship is falling apart. I am not suggesting this is happening to you, at least not yet.

I do question, though, whether you have really sat down with your fiancee and talked through your respective priorities and how you want to finance them?

Your fiancee certainly seems more relaxed about things, which might indeed reflect her desire to slow things down a bit, or just stay living at home at bit longer. Or it might simply mean that she feels having fun and socialising with her friends are important to her wellbeing.

It’s even possible that her continued spending is her way of pushing back against your attempts to make her save. None of which you’ll know unless you can talk with her properly and, if need be, find some compromise that keeps you both happy.

Without it, your financial concerns are likely to grow into resentment, and from there escalate into a full-blown row.

So please, talk with her and deal with this now before it’s too late. It shouldn’t be too difficult to agree a timetable and a budget for the next year.

Oh, and don’t forget to make a small allowance in that for fun and relaxation.