AFFAIR WAS A MISTAKE — CAN I GO BACK?

DEAR JENNIFER: Just over two years ago, I had an affair with a man who was a family friend. I don’t know why I did it as he’s always had a reputation for sleeping around.

Anyway, I did, and I quickly left my husband and son to be with this man. I now see that this was a huge mistake, and the affair has turned sour.

We both work longish hours so have little time together, and that is usually taken up with arguing. It seems the only thing holding us together is sex.

But I am sure he is having an affair with someone else, which is making me jealous and angry. I’ve confronted him about this a few times, but he just gets angry or changes the subject.

He’s lazy about the place too, leaving me to do all the household chores. I also pay more of the bills.

He’s nothing like my husband, who was great with our son and did his fair share around the house too.

My husband didn’t deserve this, and I realise I have probably lost the one good man who was right for me.

I feel guilty about what I’ve done and wish I could go back to the way things were before. I can’t live like this anymore. Do you think my husband would take me back?

JENNIFER SAYS: He might, but don’t expect him to jump at the offer.you’ve hurt him and your son badly, so I suspect he will need some convincing.

You’ll need to show that you are genuinely sorry for what you’ve done, and that you’re serious about making the marriage work again.

You’ll also have to work hard to regain and keep his trust, because he may continue to worry that you might do it again.

However you go about this, your current relationship isn’t working, so, if you entertain any hope of rescuing your marriage, you need to end it now.you need to move out and live somewhere other than with this man, otherwise why would your husband believe the relationship is over?

Once you’ve done that, choose your moment to approach your husband, explain that you’re sorry and that you’d hope he would be willing to try again.

To help you through all of this, you may nd it useful to contact a counsellor.