‘TADPOLE’ TWOSOME
Spurs and Arsenal just play at being big clubs
TO BE FAIR to Spurs and Arsenal, they are actually more consistent than some of their critics claim.
That’s because if you are one of the North London ‘ big’ clubs, you consistently underachieve.
And that’s why, when we listen this weekend to all the English media telling us the North London derby is massive, we can have a good laugh.
They should call this socalled big clash the ‘ tadpole derby’, because they are two not-so-big clubs who never grow up.
If you are a Spurs or Arsenal fan, you know that something has to change, but you also know that it never does.
Neither of these two clubs have ever been champions of Europe. They both got to a final, but were we really surprised that they didn’t win?
And as regards to league titles, well you must be having a laugh.
Deluding
It’s nearly 20 years since Arsenal won their last Premier League.
And let’s be honest, Tottenham Hotspur don’t even compete for them, even when they are deluding their fans by hanging in and around the title race, like they did before they kicked out Mauricio Pochettino.
It’s just the same old same old. Big talk, yet little walk.
Both clubs have the advantage that top players want to live in London, not Manchester or Liverpool.
Both clubs are owned by billionaires who seem to think they are running a circus rather than giant footballing institutions that owe their wonderful support some silverware.
It’s just deja vu, with this one again being built up as the star act of Sky’s ‘ Super Sunday’.
No one is honest enough to come out and spill the beans that the Tadpole Derby just doesn’t matter.
In North London they specialise in ‘ undertoning’, getting their teenage kicks by pretending to be close to competing with the big boys.
Theyhaveactuallycreated an a rt f orm: nouv eau impressionism.
They love to impersonate the really big clubs.
Every summer it’s always about the new players and the hope they can close the gap and stop being bridesmaids.
But we all know there is never a wedding, because neither club has the culture of winners.
Top clubs don’t just dream about success, they insist on it.
The owners at the really big clubs don’t just build great stadia and facilities, they build great teams and insist on great managers.
Just look at the dugouts on Sunday afternoon. How close would either Mikel Arteta or Nuno Espirito Santos ever be to the Manchester City job?
At least Arsene Wenger was honest about Arsenal’s owners. They were happy with top-four finishes, so why shouldn’t he be?
But ironically, I think Spurs would miss all the drama of being the nearly-men if they ever crossed that line into the winners’ enclosure.
If Spurs won the league title, can you imagine how popular their manager would be?
I’m really not sure Daniel Levy could handle that!
Meanwhile, at Arsenal, I’m not even sure some of the ownership know where t he Gunners are in the table.
Nouveau impressionism fools so many fans into believing the Tadpole Derby is actually a big game involving big clubs.
Academies
Here’s one of the key factors. You spend a fortune on your academies and you are able to attract some of the world’s best talent, so there are always encouraging young stars in the pipeline.
And whilst you never pay top, top dollar for the very best players in the world, you sometimes bring in a fading star, and then you fill your dressing room with good players.
What’s wrong with filling your dressing room with good players, I hear people ask.
Well, just look at Chelsea or up in Manchester, or in Liverpool.
Their dressing rooms are not filled with good players, they are filled with great players.