I don’t want to marry her man

DYING PAL BEGS ME TO TAKE CARE OF HUBBY

I HAD a tough childhood that I like to forget about.

I was abandoned by my drug addict parents at five and sent to live with my father’s sister.

I had a roof over my head, but there was no warmth or love in my life.

I left at 17 for Dublin and didn’t look back.

Now my aunt is old and unwell,

MY DYING friend wants me to marry her husband.

Every time I visit, she takes my hand and makes me promise that I won’t leave him alone.

I nod and mutter something like: “Don’t talk daft,” or “No need to be so morbid”.

But I know she’s deadly serious about him and I eventually shacking up together.

In fact, she wants me to move into her home and take over her routine so that the transition is seamless.

What she doesn’t know is that I can’t stand the sight of the man. I’m one of many women he’s slept with.

She thinks he’s an angel but he’s not a very nice person.

I made the mistake of getting too

My friend likes to wax lyrical about how kind and sensitive he is. I genuinely don’t think she knows the man.

But how can I disappoint her when she’s frightened and sick? A promise from me would give her the peace of mind she craves.

SIOBHAN SAYS: I suspect your friend knows her husband all too well. If rumours about him have been swirling around for years, then why wouldn’t they have reached her ears?

I doubt if everyone is as discreet as you. I bet she’s had more than one irate lover, if not an angry husband, banging on her door.

She may pretend that her bloke is sensitive and needy, but she’s fooling no-one. Chances are she already knows about you two and is clutching at straws because she thinks you like him.

The next time she suggests you step into her shoes, explain she’s not to worry. Emphasise you have your own life, and her husband will be fine.

Don’t promise what you have no intention of delivering – that would be worse than turning down her offer.

It’s very kind of you to continue to see her and she is lucky to have you, but she’s wasting precious time and energy on this quest.

Shouldn’t her husband be encouraging her to enjoy every day and not worry about him?

Maybe you need to have a word in his (arrogant) ear?