My new guy is using me for place to live

SIOBHAN SAYS: Give this person a deadline and leave her in no doubt you’re not going to let this drop for any reason.

Nasty

If she’s embarrassed because the clothes have been damaged, lost or she’s lent them on, she has to tell you where you stand.

If she needs to pay you back in instalments, then that needs to start now, so get crackin’ to tackle her.

WHEN my colleague announced that his marriage was over, I suggested he move in with me.

I assumed he wanted a proper relationship.

But he’s not interested in meeting my family or doing “coupley” things like going for meals or planning for the future.

He locks himself in my garden close to him in 2007 and it’s something I regret and am ashamed of.

She was out of the country visiting her mother and I was feeding her cats – because her husband was too precious to do it himself.

One morning I popped in and he announced that he was working from home. I was in a very low place after the breakdown of my relationship, and he offered a shoulder to cry on. office on his laptop for hours and isn’t even interested in having sex.

I’ve tried everything from homecooked meals to full- on sexual propositions, but nothing works.

I’ve even dangled the idea of using sex toys and me getting it on with a girl in front of him. I went on one of those swinger sites and found a girl I thought was a hottie.

Cry

One thing led to another and we were in bed, having sex. I slept with him two more times before I came to my senses. My friend returned from her visit none the wiser.

I’ve since discovered that he has a terrible reputation as a love rat.

But nothing I do whips up his interest in a little bit of nookie. He just shrugs at my kinky suggestions and goes back to pottering away on his laptop.

I’ve got a horrible feeling that he’s only using my home in order to hide out while the family house is sold and his bitter divorce goes through. What should I do?

SIOBHAN SAYS: Once this guy’s divorce comes through and he’s received his financial settlement, he’ll be free to live anywhere he likes.

Don’t allow him to use you for one second more, because you know you deserve better than that.

Accept that the wires have been crossed. You thought he was interested in a romance, even a passionate fling, but it just goes to show that we can’t “assume” anything in life.

It’s time for a gloves-off chat where you be completely frank and tell it as it is, the hard truth. If he is a lodger, that’s fine, but then he needs to pay rent – or pack his stuff and leave.