HAS EXPERIENCED TOUGH TIMES IN HIS LIFE
KEITH Earls established himself for Munster in the 2008/ 09 season.
Indeed, his first Ireland cap came in November 2008 against Canada at Thomon Park.
Earls was on the bench for the Reds’ 16-13 Heineken Cup final over Toulouse in Cardiff in May 2008 but was an unused sub and has said: “I wouldn’t consider it as a winner’s medal.
“I never really got on the pitch but it was great to be involved. But in my eyes I’ve no medal, you know? I had no interest in keeping i t, my old m an has i t somewhere.”
Then-Munster boss Declan Kidney’s decision not to put such a talent in the firing line was criticised at the time. But given the revelations in Keith Earls’ new biography Fight or Flight, My Life, My Choices ( Reach Sport, publishing October 28) it seems a bit easier to understand now.
Issues
It shows that what we did know about the Moyross Magic, an upbringing in a tough council estate in the throes of a ‘gangsters’ turf war’ and his skill with ball in hand.
That his biography demonstrates Earls was achieving these goals while battling with specific Moyross mayhem, mental health issues and vicious pain that medics could not pinpoint is all the more startling.
“It was a council estate, and you know the sense of community and I suppose the road rearing you, that was my typical childhood,” he says of growing up in Moyross.
“I did have a great childhood and I would change nothing about it but as you know ( there is) ‘Moyross and crime’ over the years. “Growing up, it was quite tough, it was the height of the feuds and stuff, it was challenging at times.
“But 95 per cent of the time it was a great place to grow up with a sense of community but the other five per cent was dark enough.”
Inside his story was a trauma originally relating to the death in a car accident of a cousin which brought unwanted thoughts ofmortality,nothelpedbyashooting almost on his own doorstep.
“I was outside, it was a beautiful day, and I was outside in the back garden. My cousin, my parents were around. “We had the pool table out there and we heard gun shots, a couple of loud bangs and myself and my cousin ran out to the porch, and you know there was a guy standing there with a balaclava, firing shots at a group of young lads running.
Unique
“Not sure if he was actually going for them or was it a couple of shots to scare them.
You know that was, I suppose, a unique situation that not many people I suppose in the country would have grown up with.
“It was tough at times and as I said, I know I’m painting a tough picture here of Moyross but I can only tell my story and I am very proud to be from Moyross but you know this was my experience.”
The upshot was, however, Earls felt a second entity crowding his life, one he called ‘Hank’. Hank’s appearances came with a negative reinforcement, able to convince Earl about things such as he was about to drop the ball, that the birth of his daughter Ella Maye — born with a serious medical condition — would end badly.
“I should be on Cloud Nine and, obviously,mydaughterEllaMaye,myfirst girl, was born in 2012 and she was born with a respiratory condition, and you know my emotions were everywhere.
“My paranoia was through the roof. My negative thinking, it was shocking, and you know I was so sick of it. It was absolutely draining me. But I still, whatever way, I found a way to get out on the pitch and I suppose try and take Hank on.”
Having held Hank at bay though his early years as a professional, the pressure built and with the added responsibility of looking after Ella Maye was about to give.
Enduring
Sitting in Carton House in 2013, wondering about chronic pain he was enduring and facing into international training with a new coach Joe Schmidt, he wondered could he continue.
“I dreaded training, I came to hate rugby, I wanted to walk away from it, to make (the pain) stop.
“It was back, neck, groin, hiatal hernia — a bit of everything. I’d huge problems breathing too. Honestly I would have preferred an ACL injury because then I would know what was causing it.
“I was in so much pain and I’d had very test under the sun and none of the medics could work it out either and, again, maybe we still haven’t got to the bottom of it.
“I’d put the physios under an awful lot of pressure — stuff like getting acupuncture at half-time….there would be needles in my neck trying to free up whatever pain was there.
“I’d get out of bed in the morning and it was straight to the physio in order to just get through a s ession and then more afterwards. I won’t say it was a living hell because there are a lot worse cases but when it is affecting your job and your family life, it is torture.”
And given that moment in Ireland camp he could be sure Hank would arrive…
“So, I rang the doctor, explained everything to him, he was brilliant. I went down to see a guy in Cork, a psychiatrist and diagnosed me with Bipolar 2.
“You know there is obviously Bipolar 1 as well, but Bipolar 2 is probably the better out of the two to get. I was delighted to get the diagnosis; I was genuinely losing my mind.
“Which I think was part of the problem, as well I didn’t know who I was, and I was always trying to be other people.
“I didn’t know when I was Keith, I didn’t know when I was ‘Hank’. And thankfully I can tell the difference now.
“Thankfully over the last couple of years, I have got a great hold on it. You know, I have found my identity.”