Pelosi made the verse call for Bono SHE SHOULD HAVE DELETED WHATSAPP FROM SINGER

BARKING UP WRONG TREE

SOME of the best people I know love dogs.

Some of the very worst people I’ve ever come across adore them too. It’s something that is utterly baffling. These people would cry openly at the thought of a dog being in any kind of stress. But they are openly vicious about other people. How do they square that circle in their heads?

WHEN Nancy Pelosi’s phone pinged with that WhatsApp from Bono, she was faced with a big decision.

This is a woman who has been to the fore in huge issues over the decades.

Impeachment proceedings against presidents, abortion, gun control, disaster relief, affordable health care, wars and potential wars.

But that WhatsApp moment was up there with what faced John F Kennedy during the Bay of Pigs.

He averted a possible nuclear war between the Soviet Union and the USA with some careful moves.

JFK came out of the episode with great credit.

If only we could say the same of Pelosi. If only she’d had the cop on to delete that WhatsApp.

Instead, she decided to inflict Bono’s poem on the world.

Douglas Adams, in his great book The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, considers the horrors of poetry.

Uplifting

“Poetry, well written, can be a spiritually uplifting experience. Badly written, it can be an experience of buttockclenching horror,” wrote Adams.

“The absolute worst poetry was written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings. It involved decaying swans. Luckily, it was destroyed during the demolition of the Earth.”

Move over Ms Jennings, Bono has taken your throne.

His ode to the people of Ukraine presumably was well intentioned.

But it came across like a drunken 3am text and unfortunately, Bono pressed send.

PROCEEDING WITH CAUTION: Bono and (left) Nancy Pelosi

It is easy to slag him off — with his Marty Morrissey hair and Cuban heels — and we still cringe when we think of his speech in favour of Ireland’s bid to host the Rugby World Cup bid while on stage with U2 in Croke Park.

Then there is his ongoing attempt to make his comfortable middle-class upbringing in Glasnevin sound like he was dodging drive-by shootings in LA South Central. Everyone has a Bono story, and the best Bono story is of an interaction he had with Captain Beefheart.

The Beef was a cult musician and the U2 frontman figured he’d love to collaborate with him.

Captain Beefheart’s letter in response was made up of just three words and a comma.

“Dear Bongo, No.”

If only more people said no to Bono.