His difficult ex has something on him
HE PAYS MONEY TO HER JANE O’GORMAN SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS TODAY ... AND EVERY DAY
THERE are three of us in our relationship: me, my partner and his tricky ex.
Despite being with me for over a year he’s still giving her cash and propping her up. He’s the first person she calls when she gets a bill or something needs fixing. He rushes round to soothe her like his backside is on fire.
I don’t think they’re still having sex – but I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s still demanding that too.
I need him to banish her from our lives and for us to be a couple, but he says it’s complicated.
He says he can’t simply walk because she’s vindictive and unpredictable and has got too much on him.
When they were together, he messed with some unpleasant people and did stupid things.
I’ve told him I don’t want to hear the details, but I get the impression that while he was drinking heavily and using drugs. He was a hot-headed fool.
Now he is sober and sensible after a scary brush with the law, but his ex continues to haunt us.
Of course, she’s not stupid enough to use the word “blackmail” but that’s what it amounts to. She won’t go until we give her what she believes she is due.
Apparently, she protected him and lied for him when his enemies were circling. She believes that if it weren’t for her, he’d be history by now.
My guy begs me to trust him. He says if he can just give it time and placate her, we’ll be free.
But will we? What’s to stop her from coming back for more? He swears he loves me and that he’s learnt his lesson after behaving like a muppet as a younger man.
JANE SAYS: This all sounds way too complicated and unpleasant for my liking.
Why don’t you tell your man to go away, sort out his issues, and come back to you once he’s solvent and free? We all make mistakes in life.
It sounds as if he was headstrong and reckless as a younger man. He played fast and loose with some “interesting” characters and his ex-girlfriend was with him on the ride.
But that was then and this is now. She can’t continue to put pressure on him and bleed him dry for ever.
As for them still having sex, that’s outrageous and completely unacceptable.
I fully understand why you don’t wish to hear the details about what went on, but what about your safety? Are there still people out there who are angry and after him? Is there unfinished business that you might get caught up in? I don’t mean to go all “Godfather” on you, but you’ve got to start thinking about yourself.
Tell him today that he’s on his own. He started this mess, now he must end it.
Explain that your nerves can’t take anymore – he’s put you through too much.
Go and stay with friends or relatives while you think and get your head straight.
My gut feeling is that they are a toxic pair who are as bad as each other.