Parents ‘fun’ so hurtful
MY mum and dad love to tell me that I wasn’t wanted.
My sister is ten years my senior and they considered themselves “done” after her.
Then mum fell pregnant with me and was mortified. Her own mother told her she was disgusting for still having sex at 40.
Mum seriously considered aborting me, but then changed her mind.
In fact, I lived with my gran for the first two years of my life because my mm was too embarrassed to push my pram.
These days I visit them every Saturday yet they still enjoy recounting this story.
I’m 30 years of age and feel hurt that they continue to find my conception and birth a laughing matter.
JANE SAYS I’m sure that your parents love you more than anything else in the world. They chose to keep you.
I suspect they enjoy winding you up. You’re alive; you’ve got your family and life goes on.
Accept that we live in a far from perfect world and your parents are allowed to be honest about something that didn’t happen 30 years ago.
Ask them not to tell their “hilarious” story because it hurts and upsets you.
I DEEPLY regret walking out on my girl.
I stormed off when I caught her in our bed with her boss but now I have nothing. Maybe I should have turned the other cheek and not made a fuss.
The day I caught her with him was the worst of my life. They were both stark naked and drunk on cheap champagne. They were surrounded by sex toys and used condoms. She took one look at me and laughed in my face.
An hour later I was in my mum’s front room with my stuff in black bags all around me.
My brother strolled in, heard my story and called me an “utter mug” for letting my sexy, rich, successful girl go. He said he would have ripped off his clothes, jumped on the bed and joined in. My stepdad snorted: “Me too.”
Now I’m renting a single room. I no longer have access to my exgirlfriend’s great flat, car or expensive lifestyle. She’s blocked me from social media and none of her friends return my calls.
My brother tells me that she’s not even with her boss any more. She’s got a new job and is bragging to everyone that she’s loving the single life.
All I want is to go back with her and start again. The other night I was desperate and got very drunk. I thought it would be a really good idea to bombard her phone with messages. I’m afraid that I got carried away with myself and said some stupid things.
Now I’m living in fear of her getting the police or even one of her scary uncles onto me. Why do I get everything wrong?
JANE SAYS: Everyone has their limit and you reached yours when you discovered your ex-girlfriend in bed with someone else. You acted instinctively and honestly.
Quite understandably you were hurt and humiliated. You asked her to make a choice and she dumped you.
I always say ultimatums have to be issued with extreme caution. But what other choice did you have? What more could she have done to show her contempt and crush you?
Now she’s living the single life and you’re miffed, but you cannot allow her wealth and confidence to blind you to the fact that she was a cheat who wasn’t a very nice person in the first place.
You may have enjoyed some fun times together but bringing another man into the bed you shared together was cruel and low. You have to forget her because she’s history and start concentrating on your own future.
What are you going to do next? What is your plan?
Ask your stepdad and brother to be sensible while you mull over and discuss your options.
It goes without saying that you have to give up the booze and the drunk texting. If she does report you to the police for harassment, you’ll have to deal with that as an adult.
Repeatedly ringing her up was immature and stupid, but learning from your mistakes is vital.