Affair with pal’s guy is ‘horrible’
HE JUST USES ME FOR SEX JANE O’GORMAN SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS TODAY ... AND EVERY DAY
LIFE with my lover is no fun.
For a start he’s not even “my” lover. He’s in a live-in relationship with my oldest friend and I’m his guilty secret.
I always thought that secret mistresses were treated to naughty gifts and romantic meals in discreet locations, but not me.
He is manipulative and controlling and treats me like a sex toy. He thinks I should be grateful that he deigns to sleep with me.
Once he asked me to thank him after a five-hour session in a grotty motel that I paid for.
My friend complains that he’s miserable and mean – but I have it worse.
At least he provides a roof over a head and contributes to bills.
I endure all of the heartache and lonely nights without any of the security or respectability.
For starters, he doesn’t like me going out without him. He doesn’t approve of me seeing friends or other men and checks up on me all the time.
Often, he’s out with her, but sneakily texts to make sure that I’m at home, alone.
Recently I dared to defy him and go on a short break with my sister. He accused me of being selfish and disloyal.
He ranted that I was “bound” to get off with other men because
I’m weak. I know that bedding him is wrong, but I’m a sucker for a bad boy and he’s the only guy interested in me. I work from home and get very lonely.
He runs a window cleaning business and nips by whenever he feels horny.
We rip each other’s clothes off as we stumble up the stairs to my bedroom. He licks me all over and makes me scream, but then I feel awful and used afterwards.
Of course, my mate knows nothing of our fling. She works for her dad’s business and spends a lot of time travelling the country. My lover has admitted that he’ll never leave her so I shouldn’t get my “hopes up”. Is it fair that I’m so badly treated when all I crave is love?
JANE SAYS: How are you ever going to find someone decent while you’re sleeping with a controlling and manipulative cheat like this?
This affair is wrong, and this man sounds appalling. From dropping by for soulless sex to keeping tabs on you while he’s on dates with his own partner, he clearly has no morals and no shame.
You do know you’re going to get caught, don’t you? You and your lover are playing a very silly game. One day soon, your lover is going to trip up. How bad do you think you’ll feel then? Your friend likes and trusts you.
End the affair and start being honest with yourself about your life and the direction you’re going.
If working from home has left you lonely and vulnerable, then make some significant changes.
Don’t allow him to intimidate you. Stand up for yourself. Being on your own again will be challenging for a while but surely being independent and free is better than this?