He wants to watch me bed other guys
I WORRY IT’S TOO WEIRD.. JANE O’GORMAN SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS TODAY ... AND EVERY DAY
MY guy likes to watch other people having sex.
He wants to invite some of his racy mates to my flat for a private party. He says there’ll be no pressure for me to join in, but it will make him very happy – and horny – if I do…
I live alone. He and I see each other a couple of times a week.
He’s still living with his expartner. They hate each other and he’s desperate to move out but has to stick around for the sake of the elderly dog they share.
Once the dog finally dies, he promises he’ll be mine-all-mine. In the meantime, he wants to organise a discreet gathering at my property that he promises will be a lot of saucy fun.
He dreams of seeing me in action with other lovers. I don’t know whether to be freaked out or flattered that such a worldly man is interested in me. We met a couple of months ago online. I was attracted to him straight away. He was flirty and naughty and laughed me into bed.
A couple of nights later we got seriously drunk and started revealing our darkest secrets. He didn’t hesitate in admitting he loves seeing others getting it on. Not joining in – only watching.
Is that weird? Apparently, he knows three women and two guys who are keen. He swears I’ll like and fancy them but am I in over my head here?
Other secrets he told me included his love of looking at his neighbours (who never close their curtains) and spying on doggers in the woods.
He says I can trust him. He won’t film my party because it’ll be about living in the moment for him.
I worry that if I say ‘no’ he’ll think I’m uptight. He reckons everyone’s up to this kind of thing these days. Are they?
JANE SAYS: I don’t believe a word this creep says. How convenient that he can’t leave his “hated” partner because they share a dog. Tosh.
As for you being able to trust him – forget it. He sounds predatory and manipulative, and you need to protect yourself. No, not “everyone” is into voyeurism these days.
I don’t care what he has to say on the subject, his is a particular fetish that certainly isn’t mainstream.
I feel he’s out of order. I don’t think you should have sex with strangers while he watches. Where will it lead?
What about your emotional and sexual wellbeing? Surely there’s a chance you’re going to end up feeling played or used.
Unless you’re completely convinced and he’s a decent and trustworthy person – and this party is something you want to get involved with – then you must say “no thanks” and kick him out of your life.
This is a person who clearly thinks he’s very sophisticated and something special.
But you need to remain true to yourself and what you believe in and stand for. I fear that you’re vulnerable and he’s vile.