Hubby’s crush is foolish
MY husband is making a fool of himself.
He’s mooning over a young woman who has recently joined his firm. She’s clever and witty and I can tell that he’s obsessed.
I’ve met her, she’s professional and definitely going places.
His colleagues tell me that he can’t speak to her without stuttering and going red. They’re all taking the rise out of him.
At home he never stops gushing about how brilliant she is, and I’m convinced he fantasies about her when we have sex.
I love him and forgive this crush because I’ve had plenty of my own. But how do I ensure that he doesn’t go too far and jeopardise his job?
JANE SAYS: You need to level with your man. Explain that you realise what’s going on.
Acknowledge that we’re only human and fancy other people from time to time. But beg him to be careful for his own sake, his colleague’s sake and yours.
Also, paying this colleague undue attention or making her uncomfortable will be frowned on.
His wages are vital for keeping your family afloat and personal feelings cannot get in the way of paying the bills.
MY mates hate my new girlfriend. How do I convince them that she’s simply shy – and not sly?
The problem is that she dated quite a few guys between the ages of 18 and 25 and got herself a reputation for liking bad boys.
We were in a bar and a man I don’t know came up to me and hissed: “Watch yourself.” I demanded to know what he meant, and he muttered something about my girl being trouble. I was furious but my girl just laughed.
The thing is she’s absolutely lovely with me. She’s funny and sexy and we have a great time.
I don’t care about her past. I only moved back to my hometown six months after studying in America for four years. To me she’s perfect. From loving me and treating me with respect to being polite to my parents, she’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
Our sex life is red hot, and she always does what she says she’s going to do. She’s never late for dates or lets me down. But still the rumours persist.
Recently I attempted to organise a gathering for my birthday yet one-by-one my pals dropped out. In the end my closest mate admitted it was because “she” was there. How are they seeing a different person to me?
As far as I’m concerned, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and even my nan has said: “You’d be mad to let this one go”.
So, what do I do next? Listen to my mates or dump them all in favour of her? She’s already talking about us booking a couple of holidays and maybe moving in together. I’m committed to both ideas – yet my mates continue to chew my ear off and tell me that trusting her is a huge mistake.
JANE SAYS: All you can do is judge the person who stands before you.
If she seems genuine and nice, then see how you go.
Don’t make too many grand plans and take each day at a time.
Surely a person is allowed to turn over a new leaf? Maybe your girl was a wild child once. But if she’s matured and seen the error of her ways then why should she be condemned forever?
As for your friends, thank them for their concern, but tell them that you’ve got this.
You understand that they care about you and only have your best interests at heart, but you are a fully fledged adult now.
Is it worth taking your most trusted mate to one side for her full back-story, or would you prefer not to go there?
I get the impression that your girl is bending over backwards to please you.
If she is faking, then she won’t be able to keep up any kind of act forever.
You must look into her eyes and trust your instincts. Is she really the person you want to find a flat with – or is she playing a game?
Consider your self-esteem, your mental well-being and the matter of mutual respect before making any long-term promises.