Clean-up reveals his dirty secret
HATRED LEFT ME IN TEARS
A THOROUGH spring clean has ruined my life.
I never imaged that I’d find a pile of notebooks detailing how much my partner hates me…
Now I’m in pieces but he says he’s relieved I finally know how he feels about me. He no longer has to “live a lie”.
Where am I supposed to go from here?
It was a sunny day when I decided to tackle his old office. He worked from home from March 2020 until six months ago.
I felt positive as I prepared to sort out piles of paperwork, old files, and diaries. But about 15 minutes in I found a stack of notebooks under his desk.
Naturally I stopped to peek inside and there it was – pages and pages of venom directed straight at me. Apparently, I’m annoying and stupid, with a “silly voice”. My cooking is rubbish and I’m terrible in bed.
A whole section was dedicated to my ugly body and inability to sexually excite him. Another was a homage to all the other woman he fancies who he should have “shacked up with” instead.
He left no explicit detail out in describing what he’d like to do to them.
It’s very clear that my partner despises me and wishes we’d
never met – and that hurts. While I’m crying my eyes out, he’s bouncing around like a spring lamb.
He says my nosiness has saved him the trouble of splitting with me. He’s preparing to move out and start again.
And he’s planning to date anyone he fancies – male and female.
I’m devastated and embarrassed. I feel like a monster. My closest friends are telling me that I’m a good person and that I mustn’t take any notice, but how am I ever going to be able to trust anyone again when I didn’t see this coming?
JANE SAYS: No one would blame you for feeling absolutely shattered right now.
Sadly, you now know that your underhand partner has harboured dark and vicious thoughts for some time.
If he’s determined to move on and live a completely different kind of life, then that’s his call.
It was unbelievably crude and disloyal of him to be so cruel about your body and your personality in print. If he’s had a problem with you for a while, then he should have spoken up before.
Don’t allow him to rubbish
you or put you down by telling you you are worthless, because you know that you’re absolutely not.
Use your anger in a good way. Turn your energy around and plan for the future.
Make a wish list of all the things that you’d like to achieve and go for it.
Be honest with family and friends, tell them that he was not the man you thought he was.
Learn from what has happened and take that wisdom with you into your future relationships.