Lover’s past is ‘exotic’

MY new girlfriend used to be an exotic dancer.

I love her and don’t care about her past.

But one of my mates refuses to move on or accept that I’m serious about her.

I’ve tried to explain that she’s a businesswoman now, but he continues to make lewd jokes.

He likes to suggest that she “turned tricks” and was a sex worker too.

I know that my girl did what she had to do to make money, but I love the person she is today. Surely, we’re all allowed to turn over a new leaf?

JANE SAYS: Ask your mate for a serious chat and tell him that his childish comments aren’t helpful or fair.

You’re adults now and we all find love in different places.

Why can’t he be happy for you? Would he rather see you lonely?

Your private life is your business, and you must do whatever makes you happy. You don’t need the approval of anyone else.

I get the impression that he’s jealous of you, that he resents seeing you happy and settled.

Maybe he secretly fancies her himself – and always has done?

MY mate wants his former girlfriend back – but I’m dating her now.

He says I should do the decent thing and back off. Why should I when I love her?

He is used to getting his own way but, for once in my life, I’m not prepared to roll over.

She and I have been dating for four months, but she was with him for four years before me. They split up when he went on a stag weekend and got off with a model.

He flew back and ordered my girl out of his flat. He told her that she’d been replaced and broke her heart. She came to me in tears, and I offered her my sofa to sleep on. One thing led to another and we became a couple.

Now I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. My girl is kind and fun and our sex life is red-hot. She says I’m the most considerate lover she’s known.

Ironically, she’s confessed that my mate (her ex) is completely useless in bed. He has no moves and no ideas. She had to keep stroking his ego and perform for him or he sulked.

Now he’s on his own and struggling to cope. The model left him after a few weeks and a couple of subsequent girlfriends have skedaddled too. My girl says

WORRYING TIMES: His new lover’s ex is ‘circling like a blood-thirsty shark’

she’s happy with me but I’m terrified he’s going to go behind my back and grind her down.

Despite everything I know she feels beholden and sorry for him because his mum died in 2022 and he had a tough early life.

How do I ward him off while making her understand that I’m the man she needs?

I’m scared the sheer force of his personality is going to be too strong for me to fight.

JANE SAYS: Clearly your mate rides through life with a strong sense of entitlement. The day he tired of your girlfriend he thought

nothing of dumping her without a backward glance.

Now she’s with you and you’ve never been happier, yet he’s circling like a bloodthirsty shark.

He can’t abide being alone and can’t stand the fact that you’re settled and happy.

The model and other lovers have gone, and he thinks he can pick up where he left off. What does your girl think about his overtures? Is she tempted to go back to him or is she devoted to you?

She must assure you that she’s committed and on your side. Give it to her

straight: Tell her you refuse to be messed around.

If the reality is that she is inclined to rekindle their relationship out of sympathy or habit, then she was never right for you.

Obviously, you don’t want to roll over and give up, but equally, you can’t fight for a woman who isn’t with you for the right reasons. Did she initially come to your place to “show him”?

Are you in over your head with two people who will always go back to each other? Don’t get caught up in anyone’s silly game.