The true hell of having a stalker GADD’S SHOW PLAYS ‘VITA; ROLE'
NETFLIX hit Baby Reindeer has taken the world by storm in its shocking portrayal of both a female stalker and male sexual abuse.
And its creator, Scottish comedian Richard Gadd (34) is still reeling from how the fictionalised dramatisation of his own life experiences has been received.
“It’s clearly struck a chord,” he said this week. “I really did believe in it, but it’s taken off so quickly that I do feel a bit windswept.”
And along with overnight recognition for Gadd, his story has also led stalking victims to contact charities for support.
In 2015, Gadd fell victim to a female stalker 20 years his senior.
The title for the number one show is drawn from Gadd’s real-life stalker, who made a comment about his wide-eyed innocence.
In the show the fictionalised character is played with chilling skill by Fortitude actress Jessica Gunning.
But shockingly the stalking ordeal follows on from him being raped by an unnamed male years earlier.
Gadd has not revealed the identities of the real abuser or stalker, but his raw take on his own trauma has encouraged victims, especially male victims who rarely come forward, to seek support.
The Suzy Lamplugh Trust, which runs Britain’s National Stalking Helpline, have now revealed to The Star that the number of male callers has shot up since the series debuted.
“Shows like Baby Reindeer do a great job of raising awareness about stalking, particularly for male victims who may not previously have sought support,” says Tallulah Belassie-Page, the trust’s Senior Policy and Campaigns Officer.
Calls to the helpline from male victims have been “greatly” increasing since the show landed on Netflix, while they are still waiting to see final data once the show has been on air for longer.
“One in five women and one in 10 men will be stalked in their lifetime,” says Tallullah.
This week is National Stalking Awareness Week and the Suzy Lamplugh Trust has just released shocking research, showing stalking cases last year resulted in a conviction.
And that’s of those who actually came forward. With double the number of women falling victim to the crime, the male victims are far less spoken about.
Yet as Gadd’s tale shows, women can be the perpeady trators too.
In the series, Martha – alrea convicted stalker – is seen camping out at Donny’s pub, bombardebook ing him with emails and Facmessages, and gatecrashing his comedy performances to heckle from the audience and loudly announce that she’s his girlfriend.
Target
Donny is her new obsession. She harasses his ex-girlfriend and befriends his landlady to gain access to his room and leave a suge. gestive photo of herself there. When he reports her to the police, she switches h ment to his parents, accusing his innocent father of being a paedophile. It is relentless.
So what makes women like Martha tick? Dr Pam Spurr explains: “Stalking, generally speakone ing, can be sparked by even incidence where the future stalker attains even a smidgen of attenentually tion from the person who eve becomes their target,” she says.
“Because the stalker already has personality traits ‘silently’ waiting to be ignited, once ignited by an incident they overwhelm the stalker. Any sense of proportion and reality can go out the window.”
And there is a difference between male and female stalkers too.
“Although there are a range of mental health issues that can lead to stalking, many stalkers have narcissistic traits,” adds Dr Pam. “They have such utterly deluded self belief in the scenarios they create for themselves.
“They feel they are more than worthy of their target. They may even have a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder.”
But female stalkers in particular can have a love delusion, she says.
‘Stalkers, mainly women in this case, may have the delusion that someone – usually of a higher status – has fallen in love with them.
“Women have often had a previous relationship with their target.
“There is a huge element of possessiveness in all stalking. If the stalker cannot possess their victim, this can enrage them. Which can lead to violence.”
The Trust submitted a super complaint at the end of 2022 that found systemic issues in the police response to stalking, including a lack of understanding about what behaviours constitute stalking.
“We are waiting on the findings of the super complaint, which is currently being investigated by the Independent Office for Police Conduct,” she says,
Until they do, dramas like Baby Reindeer play a vital part in raising awareness to help make victims’ reality that bit more bearable.
●Dr Pam’s new book, Eva the Bear and the Magic Snowflake, is available now.