My guy keeping secrets

MY partner has a secret bedsit.

It’s tiny and in a dodgy part of town, but I didn’t know of it’s existence until I found some paperwork.

I’ve been round to the building and checked out the neighbours. One said he visits a few times a month but refused to elaborate further.

I’m devastated. We struggle for money. I pay all the bills, yet he has this bolthole.

I know I should confront him but I’m frozen. I’m terrified about discovering a horrible truth. Should I let sleeping dogs lie?

JANE SAYS: You know about the flat and have no choice but to speak to him about it.

There’s no going back now.

Is it his sanctuary? Does he take other people there? How much is the upkeep?

These are all valid questions you’re entitled to ask.

However, if he declines to answer, then how much deeper are you prepared to dig?

Hopefully there is a perfectly reasonable explanation, but if there isn’t, then only you can decide where you go from here.

None of us like to feel we’ve been duped.

You need to protect yourself.

I’VE bitten off more than I can chew with a horny guy.

I first spotted him in March. Mates warned that I was crazy to chase him; they said I wouldn’t be able to handle his libido.

Now we’re an item and they were right. He’s a sex machine. He’s up for frisky fun 24 hours a day.

I pretend that I’m his sexual equal but I’m in over my head. Recently he whisked me away to a posh spa. He wanted sex everywhere – in the hot tub, the sauna and the grounds.

Other guests kept giving us dirty looks. I was terrified that we’d be thrown out, but he loved the thrill of it.

Now he’s talking about a summer of love with sex on the beach, on the roof of his building and with other people. Help.

JANE SAYS: It’s vital that you’re true to yourself. You can’t pretend to be someone you’re not.

The reality is that this guy is hardcore. You fancy him but you’re not comfortable and he doesn’t make you happy.

Admit defeat. Park your pride and start again. So, what if your friends snigger, what do you care?

What is important is your peace of mind, safety and sexual health.

If orgies and sex in the open air are not for you, then say goodbye.

I can’t imagine it will take him long to find someone else.